From the author: Published on the online media portal "School of the 21st Century" The physical inconsistency of a teenager with beauty standards (disproportionate body growth, imbalance of skin fat) during puberty coincides with an acute desire to please the opposite sex. You can achieve attention to yourself, but only by taking some very specific steps towards raising your status among your peers. Firstly, you need to be in this environment, that is, “hang out” with everyone. Secondly, you need to please the leaders that party, or even better, lead it yourself. To do this, the teenager must be visible in his group all the time. Here relations with parents and teachers become tense to the limit, because the time spent with friends increases sharply. An active party-goer is simply obliged to “leave the ship” as the last one, to be aware of all events, to “settle” problems, and, of course, in the hierarchy of values, the first place in the hierarchy of values ​​is not school (at least not its educational component). Communication with peers - this is a way of self-identification, self-realization, self-affirmation, this is the most important thing, and God forbid an adult say that this is not so or stand in the way of achieving the teenager’s great goals. The forbidden fruit is not just sweet, it is much more attractive than the permitted fruit. In the struggle for the right to make decisions on their own, the teenager will return home even later, and will perceive his sacred debts to the parental hearth as blackmail. By the way, this is often the case. What a parent, driven to despair by the rapid growth and distance of the child, will not dare to do! Some are so carried away by the hysterical role of “sick” and “suffering” that they actually begin to get seriously ill. And all this is only to make the child feel his responsibility to learn the “truth of life”... Although in fact, parents are afraid of losing control over the situation. The world of a teenager is already painted in dark tones of doubt, and is also woven into a web of adult falsehood, double standards and outright lies. He had noticed this before, but recently the perception has become brighter, because he is strenuously trying to understand the world of adults and enter it himself, taking his specific place. And adults neglect him as a full-fledged interlocutor, try to manipulate him, consider him a creature incapable of penetrating deeply into the essence of things, constantly demanding from him some kind of evidence of adulthood. For one teenager, this causes total resentment, and for another, the transfer of the adult behavior model onto himself . It is difficult for children to understand all these “good intentions” and “good intentions” of people who limit their freedoms, which they themselves do not disdain: smoking, drinking alcoholic beverages, idleness, insincerity at a minimum, and at a maximum lies, promiscuity (sometimes such remarriages are also perceived), greed. The superficial manifestation of care and interest in the life of the teenager himself is especially painful - it seems that all that parents are interested in is school, and the mental tossing goes unnoticed by adults. And at the same time, adults consider themselves models of infallibility and eternal rightness, and a teenager - an ungrateful, capricious child who always fails to live up to expectations. But there is one sad truth that nevertheless unites and justifies parents and growing children in all respects. Fear of loneliness. This fear arises from mutual dependence, the need for each other. Only the child already feels the need to test his strength, he already wants to fly out of the nest - not for good, but only for reconnaissance. And the adult, instead of telling the chick: “Fly! Don't be afraid! Everything will work out!”, instead of believing in him, together with the teachers, in his right to decide his own destiny, he frightens the child with the horrors of free flight, cutting off his wings and plucking his feathers, so that he himself will no longer show the initiative to stick his head out in such a guise. And, breaking free, the teenager almost feels like a criminal, torn between a natural impulse, a feeling.