In order to acquire this reliable emotional attachment, you need a stable relationship with a responsive person - a spouse, close friend, relative, teacher, coach, psychotherapist, finally. Question: - What, then, will happen to the brain if this attachment exists? The brain continues to rewire itself through experience throughout life; it is designed in such a way that it has neuroplasticity, research proves this; and, responsive relationships can stimulate neural activity and even eliminate traces of early social experience in the form of sympathetic connections. That is, unconscious mental attitudes formed in childhood can be rewritten and edited at the neuronal level, with the help of adult relationships (!) And, even with dysfunctional relationships that occurred in early childhood, there are “fragments” of social positive experience that can be expanded and developed using a therapeutic model. Personally, I was able to help my client, in a short period of time, get out of a depressive state that she had long associated with her dysfunctional childhood. She remembered how a 5-year-old girl, during a severe thunderstorm, crawled out of the window because she was scared to be at home alone. This was the only way out, since my mother went to work and locked it at home. We discussed the details of this act and I noticed how her face was transforming, she began to smile, this incident turned out to be a resource for her. Already at the second meeting, she remembered how she fought with a boy who called her names. And, too, she rejoiced at her “exploits.” The client said just that: “I knew how to stand up for myself and wasn’t afraid! It was me!” As a rule, the client cannot solve his problem, but he can interpret it, discuss it, and the psychologist offers him a different interpretation. The dynamics of what is expressed, but not said, is the key to success in therapy. This applies to any relationship in which you can rewrite your emotional history. Think about the “fragments” of well-being in your life, past or present - about relationships in which you felt attention, care, interest in yourself, where you could show your “I” - this must be used to successfully jump into your happy future! Surround yourself with people who hear, see and understand you. But for this, you need to learn not to look away when you are talking with a person, but to feel open to communication: smile, relaxed arms and legs, and always eye contact. Compare with a closed pose: arms tightly pressed to the body, fingers clasped, a tense expression on the face, looking down or to the side. How do you think you appear to others? Does it promote emotional intimacy? The psychologist’s task is not to teach the client to live, but to present information so that he learns everything himself. Not to explain, but to change the questions in such a way that he would feel: support, approval, that he is listened to, appreciated, filled with strength to resolve the problem and return to him a sense of belonging to himself. Let's discuss this topic together. I look forward to your questions, comments, stories. With deep respect, psychologist-consultant Elena Belyakova. You need my consultation with a psychologist - you can sign up on my page https://www.b17.ru/belaykovabel/#consultation, whatsApp: 8-918-131-72-76