From the author: NikolaiFrom the series “Self-realization” A huge number of people are wondering how to find their own business, how to determine their purpose, their mission, they are looking for the meaning of life, trying to answer the question the question is why they were born on this Earth...Clients often ask for help in determining the sphere of self-realization. Self-realization is the expression of oneself, one’s abilities, one’s potential through ACTION, and not just some abstract attempts to know oneself. It is possible to understand the sphere of self-realization in two stages: At the first stage - identifying all your inclinations through written exercises on the topic of what you like to do, or by working with a coach, mentor. At the second stage - THROUGH ACTION, that is, just start something -do something and check whether you really like doing it (writing articles, making websites, selling toys, organizing holidays, whatever...). Is it difficult? Then - in order. First, let's look at Abraham Maslow's Pyramid of Fundamental Needs, the pinnacle of which is our Goal. In his work Motivation and Personality (1954), Maslow proposed that all human needs are innate and that they are organized into a hierarchical system of priority or dominance. The pyramid is as follows: 1. physiological needs (food, water, sleep, etc.)2. need for security (stability, order, dependence, protection, freedom from fear, anxiety and chaos)3. need for love and belonging (family, friendship, circle, reference group)4. the need for respect and recognition (I respect myself, others respect me, I am known and needed. first: I achieve, second: prestige and reputation, status, glory)5. the need for self-actualization (development of abilities. A person must do what he has inclinations and abilities for). According to A. Maslow, all needs are innate, needs of one type must be satisfied before another need, of a higher level, manifests itself and will become operational. Maslow, based on his research, came to the conclusion that most people need internal self-improvement and are looking for it. Only some do not see their potential and do not understand the benefits of self-improvement. For both, in my opinion, it is useful to familiarize yourself with the following. Self-actualization means becoming the person you can become, having reached the pinnacle of realizing your potential. So, where to start if you don’t know what to do? WE DETERMINE 3 main points: 1. where I am at this moment in my life, 2. my development zone is what I want to change, what I don’t like now, stops or slows down my movement towards the intermediate goal, the implementation of which I am engaged in at this stage of life, 3. my global goal, a vision of an ideal life, the life I want to live. WE highlight the components of a free and happy life: 1. Peace and harmony in the soul, that is, a state of internal freedom - a resourceful state, in which I live with pleasure and implement life projects.2. Self-knowledge and self-awareness, that is, awareness of myself, my qualities, resources, abilities, with the help of which I manage myself, my condition and, as a result, manage my life.3. Health and energy, that is, not only how healthy I am, but also what I do to improve my health.4. A sense of self-fulfillment, that is, am I engaged in activities that bring me joy, inspiration, pleasure, help me realize my potential and talents and benefit people.5. Relationships with close people (family, relatives), that is, do I know how to build trusting, sincere, respectful relationships with love and gratitude.6. Relationships with other people (friends, colleagues, bosses, subordinates), that is, am I able to build open, honest, productive cooperative and partnership relationships based on effective mutual exchange (give and receive).7. Financialwell-being, that is, am I able to generate such cash income that I manage money effectively and feel free.8. High goals, ideals, values, that is, do I have a big goal that challenges me, is harmoniously combined with my life ideals and values ​​and the implementation of which will benefit not only me and my family, but also other people. Assess the satisfaction of each component of your life from -10 (it can’t get any worse) to +10 (maximum satisfaction). This will help you move away from your current situation and see the prospects for the desired changes. And later you can compare how far you have progressed in your growth. Don’t be disingenuous to yourself, appreciate it as it is! This is important! Now you can apply three main points to each component of your life, and you will receive a “life plan of attack on all fronts” So, back to self-realization. We write a list of... 100 points (or at least 50) of what you LIKE TO DO, what you like to do. Write whatever comes to mind, without analysis or evaluation. Everything you did as a child, or are doing now, and what gives you pleasure, interest, curiosity, joy, what you can do without noticing how much time has passed... WRITE! Then select 10 activities from the entire list - the MOST interesting ones for you, what you are ready to do now, and in six months, and in 3 years, and in 10 years. Next, narrow the list and leave only 5 points. Connect your creative thinking, in what format you can now implement what you like to do most. And determine ONE STEP that you can take RIGHT NOW to begin your path of self-realization. If you have already decided what kind of activity you want to develop or are even already doing it, I still recommend that you do this simple exercise. It will open up some more interesting ideas for developing or expanding the context of your activities. So, where are these invisible barriers hiding? Take a look at the recording of working through 8 components of your life...1. In your emotional state (peace and harmony in your soul)2. Your skills, or lack thereof, to manage yourself and your life (self-knowledge and self-awareness)3. Your ability (or inability) to build constructive relationships (relationships in general - primarily with close people, since relationships with other people are a consequence of relationships with family)4. In your state of health and general energy (health and energy)5. And one more barrier, which is a consequence of all the previous ones, is vague, NON-SPECIFIC FORMULATIONS of one’s desires, requests, needs, goals, etc. Let's take a closer look. I will say right away that working through all the barriers is critical for the area of ​​self-realization. If at least one barrier is not overcome, then it will be difficult to realize yourself. EVERYTHING INFLUENCES EVERYTHING, someone wise said... 1. Peace and harmony in the soul. If you are stuck in negative emotional states for a long time (more than a few hours), then you clearly have no time for self-realization. All your vital forces are aimed at fighting depression, apathy, anxiety, dissatisfaction, irritation, resentment, guilt, fears, uncertainty, low self-esteem and so on. It is obvious. Learn to free yourself from negative states and put your emotional background in order. 2. Self-knowledge and self-awareness. If you cannot cope with negative states and create a resourceful state in order to effectively and efficiently act in the direction you need, then you have obvious problems with awareness and understanding of what is happening to you at the moment - Here and Now . You follow the usual childish (usually) reactions and are not aware of this. The first step to a solution is to learn to recognize automatic reactions and be aware that your reactions DEPEND ONLY ON YOU, that is, at any moment you can change your own reaction to another, more acceptable for you in this particular situation. It is important to understand that the key pointsare not only KNOWLEDGE that we CAN CHOOSE any reaction: - to be offended or to thank for mirroring, - to scold ourselves or to take the position of an observer and soberly assess the situation, - to shake with fear or remember the inner state of confidence and calmly switch to a feeling of inner strength and so on, but what is even more important is DAILY PRACTICAL TRAINING of such a switch and subsequent study of the causes of non-resource states. It is preferable to perform exercises and work through written tasks in trainings or in individual support programs. It is almost impossible to do this on your own using books, especially if you are not a professional practitioner in the field of psychology (by the way, professional practitioners also constantly learn from other professional practitioners). And if you have not trained the skills of daily practice and written study of psychological problems/tasks, then it becomes extremely difficult for you to determine the area of ​​self-realization, as well as to cope with unresourceful emotional states of laziness, stupor, fear, without having the skill of self-management.3. Relationships with loved ones. If you are not at peace with yourself (peace and harmony in your soul) and do not have the skills to manage yourself and the events of your life (self-knowledge and self-awareness), then automatically your relationships with people leave much to be desired. And accordingly, your vital energy is spent on worries and thoughts about OTHER people and about all sorts of unpleasant communication situations. Self-realization in such situations is extremely difficult. So, if: you are a touchy person, or tend to blame yourself and/or other people, or are overly demanding of yourself and/or others, or often experience insecurity or aggression, obvious or hidden towards yourself and/or to others, that is, like a pendulum, it takes you either into the position of a victim or into the position of a tyrant - this means that you definitely need to work through and complete your relationship with your parents on an emotional level. Because all of the listed reactions and feelings other people actually (even if you don't realize it) REFER TO PARENTS, not husbands/wives, children, friends, bosses, subordinates, colleagues, and so on. That is, projection is triggered - an unconscious habitual reaction formed in childhood before the age of 5-7 in relation to your parents, even if you were raised without them. All the same, a certain image of your parents is present in your mind. Of course, you can close your eyes to all this, but your reactions will remain with you and will automatically react to other people. And you will not be able to be open and sincere and will not be able to build trusting and respectful relationships, both with loved ones and with other people. An unprocessed situation of unfinished emotional relationships with parents (resentment, guilt, perfectionism, fear of making a mistake, fear of being rejected, criticized, ridiculed, etc.) will slow down your attempts to realize yourself in interesting activities, enjoy life and feel free and happy .4. Health and energy. If your health and energy are insufficient, then you will not have enough strength for action. Everything here is quite obvious: you need to take care of the health of your body and pump up your energy with physical activity, at least at the level of short morning exercises and walking.5. Vague NON-SPECIFIC FORMULATIONS. If you cannot clearly formulate your needs and desires, determine your area of ​​interest in a specific area of ​​activity in which you want to develop, then this will not allow you to plan specific actions to implement your ideas. Moreover, these are the actions that you can perform right now, within one or two days, a week, a month. Because a MOUNTAIN of some huge abstract idea will be pressing on you, which you don’t know how to approach. For example, if you tell yourself that your goal in the field of self-realization is to help and benefit people, to know yourself, your true desires andopportunities, improve the quality of life, reprogram your consciousness and subconscious in a positive direction, find your purpose, become successful and free, and so on, then it is not clear what specific actions need to be taken to get closer to the feeling of self-realization. Through WHAT AREA OF HUMAN ACTIVITY are you going to realize your usefulness to other people, increasing the quality of life (what exactly are they - usefulness and increasing)? HOW MUCH MORE TIME will it take you to find your purpose? I’ll tell you a secret that our human purpose is to: - care for your body, soul and mind, be healthy physically and psychologically, - do what you love, enjoy the process of your activity, - be happy and share the fruits of your activity with other people. Everything. Dot. The rest is individual options for the inclinations and abilities of an individual person, that is, YOURS. If you cannot answer the questions: WHAT SPECIFICALLY will you do, WHAT ACTIONS will you take in the next 1-5 days (and actually take them), then think or talk about In your desire to self-realize, you can still have a very long time, but you are unlikely to achieve self-realization in the next five years. Simply abstract thoughts will not lead you to self-realization. And finally, the most secret secret! It is necessary to remove all barriers at the same time, but the priority in working through belongs to Relationships with loved ones, namely, liberation from emotional attachments to parents. It is then: - the emotional tension of non-resource states is automatically relieved (peace and harmony in the soul), in as a result, you free up resources for building self-management skills (self-knowledge and self-awareness), - your relationships with people both in the family and outside it change for the better, so that it seems as if it happens by itself, - you naturally begin to pay attention to your health: very often there is a natural refusal of meat, coffee, alcohol, the impulse itself arises to do exercises in the morning, to walk more, rollerblading, cycling - whatever you like best, and most importantly, you begin to CLEARLY FORMULATE your desires and needs, discover your interests, barely have time to write down the flow of ideas, and surprising yourself, you begin to quickly translate them into actions and suddenly it turns out that you are already engaged in the activity that captivates and captivates you completely. And you understand that this is self-realization In action!!! And two more little bonuses! TIP #1. Write now 5 of your problems in 5 different areas of life. This should be a list of those problems, those obstacles that are most significant for you and really prevent you from living the way you would like. Now imagine that these problems have been solved for you, that they do not exist. What will you gain by deciding and overcoming these obstacles? What result? Please ask yourself this question in relation to each of the 5 problems. Then write the answer under each of your problems. Great! Now, feel free to cross out the problem and leave only the result. I congratulate you! What you see in front of you now are your true goals. These are the directions, those vectors and, moreover, those specific definitions to which you should go. Thus, you have formed for yourself exactly how you want to live and what exactly you want to come to. These are your guidelines, your beacons and sources of your motivation. They are waiting for you. And guess what? I have great news for you! You will achieve them! TIP #2. Write a list of IMPORTANT things for tomorrow IN THE EVENING. Don’t spread yourself thin on 10-20 items, write down 3 or 5 things to start with and cross out items as you complete them. Be sure to praise yourself and write: I AM WELL DONE! Even if some items were not completed yet. This can also happen at the initial stage. JUST DO IT! AND YOU HAVE EVERYTHING!