From the author: sexologist-psychotherapist, family psychologist. expert on television programs, member of the professional psychotherapeutic league, master of NLP, educational psychologist, specialist in the eastern version of neuroprogramming, specialist in personal well-being and family relationships, trainer, coach, esoteric psychotherapist. The author of more than 500 articles on a variety of problems, which you can see by looking at the *articles* section and, probably, this will already help solve your problem. The author of more than 100 training programs, which you can see by visiting my video channel on YouTube and typing “Afanasyeva Lilia.” As a psychologist-sexologist, family psychologist and psychotherapist, I have to work with a variety of male, female and family sexual problems. Quite often I receive letters on sexual issues. This is the topic I would like to talk to you about today. This material will be written in a somewhat unusual format, because it was a response to questions from a woman from Moscow who sent me a letter by email. And, since several important topics are touched upon here at once, I decided to show the answer in expanded form. I changed the name and age somewhat, while maintaining the essence of the letter itself. so that the sexual problem of women becomes clear to you. I will say that I, as a psychologist-sexologist, quite often have to work on similar problems of my clients both from Moscow and Voronezh, I hope that this material can be useful to readers. All that remains is to voice the text the letter itself"I am 34 years old, divorced six months ago, lived alone for some time. I met a man, he is 39 years old, divorced. In my previous marriage, I practiced swinging. He introduces me to sexual toys, has many female friends, corresponds with girls on the Internet. For everything questions and my negative answers about toys from the sex shop does not react - he does what he likes and wants. I tried to break up with him, but the attraction is too strong... I became sexually dependent on him... He says that he is not jealous of me... he flirts in front of my eyes. and completely denies the immorality of his actions... Two days later he came... apologized... said that he understood why it hurt me... But his swing haunts me... Global changes have happened to me - I fell in love with sex... now I want constantly... him... He he says that he hasn’t had that much sex in his life, and is trying to replace himself with toys... which I don’t care for... He doesn’t want to develop... he started getting fat and talking about swinging... about his ex... wife... I ask why they needed this - he he can’t explain... About sex, he says that he may not cum - the process is important to him. Although our relationship moved to the stage of my violent repeated and his one-time violent orgasms. And I don’t understand myself - I want him all the time. And I don’t understand him - and he can’t cope with me... and everyone is friends on the Internet... I told him a hundred times that swinging was not for me, because with other men I didn’t know what an orgasm was... But he is becoming more and more sad... trying to leave back to work... Although he still can’t sleep at home... poor neighbors... they suffer so much... I don’t want toys... I want him... and he misses swinging... and I don’t want a third person in a relationship... he liked to watch how they had sex with him wife. I suggested that he shoot a home video and watch... so far it has helped... but what next..." The answer was as follows: the situation is ambiguous and difficult. The advantages of a man are that he has revealed the woman in you and your sexuality. The next point is if you are addicted to him , and this is a problem, then you can do the “Module of falling out of love” and *sexual disengagement*, and get rid of problematic feelings and you will begin to treat him more calmly, and then, perhaps, let him go completely after a while. depends on your final desire. He is used to living the way he wants, and putting it into some framework is possible only if he wants - it’s his choice, and then it’s up to him to decide and what he agrees to..