A person who grew up with cold, distant parents believes that if he fulfills all demands and requests, is kind, gentle, flexible and always convenient, he will prove that he is worthy of love and recognition. This thought arises in us in early childhood, when we learn to earn love from our inner circle. This well-practiced skill can undermine self-confidence and give rise to a tendency towards sacrifice, that is, the position or role of a victim is born. In adulthood a person may still continue to try to be good to their parents, but instead of gratitude, kind words, approval or support, the parents may continue to undermine their adult child's self-esteem. The person may do this in the hope that one day, someday, can earn love. Parents will truly understand him, truly love him and be by his side, and the person will finally get what he lacked in childhood. At the same time, a person may simply not realize that his parents are either unable to show him the warm feelings he expects, or his parents simply do not know how to express their love. A person may try to receive love from his parents until old age, because He has an image in his mind of the perfect parents he has always aspired to. Thus, he hopes that these demanding and strict people will transform into ideal and caring parents. Then he will feel happiness, feel his worth, and feel that he deserves love. Moreover, Over time, those who strive to earn love are often used by others to their advantage, without receiving what they expected in return. If a person fails to be loved, he strives to at least be useful. This leads to the formation of the habit of being always ready to help others at the expense of one’s own interests. The tendency to serve love can manifest itself in the inability to set psychological boundaries, in a constant readiness to serve others by ignoring one’s needs and striving for perfection. Take care of yourself 💗If the article turned out to be for you useful and interesting, please click on the "Thank you" button! Natalya Ivanova, crisis psychologistSign up for a consultation on WhatsappMy Telegram channel