From the author: I decided to write short articles on a topical topic. Today is about perfectionism. Quite often clients come in who experience various problems due to this phenomenon. There are articles on the Internet with catchy titles: “What is the ideal woman?” she?" "What should a woman be like?" "What should a husband be like?" etc. What type of personality strives for the ideal, for the fact that he should be the best, the most successful, he should have the best wife (husband), the best children, the coolest car... And all the best? If he is studying, then there should only be A's. The other day I was responding to a high school student on one of the psychological sites. She asked for help because she had gotten B's and was close to suicide. What can all this say? that such people are perfectionists. Let’s figure out once again who they are and why they become them? Here is one of the definitions: “Perfectionism is the belief that improvement, both one’s own and that of others, is the goal to which a person should strive.” This means that a person is convinced that the main goal of life is improvement and he MUST strive for this all his life. And since there is no limit to improvement, a person is never satisfied with himself - he is always looking for options to write better (rewrites the article 100 times), jump higher, find an ideal wife (husband) (and there are no such people in nature). And if he fails to improve his results in something, to find an ideal soul mate, then he may fall into a depressive state. Thoughts appear - I’m bad (I have no hands then they grow), I’m a loser. Some may have a feeling like envy - everything works out for him, but for me... Or resentment towards parents or someone else. The result is that the person is unhappy. Let's speculate, why does he think that he must be ideal and that others must also be ideal? Most often, because in childhood his parents made strict demands on him - they demanded perfection in everything. So his tough Parent was formed inside him - a tyrant, who constantly demands perfection from him. From such pressure, especially if something doesn’t work out, the inner Child becomes despondent, the desire to do something disappears altogether. What to do? What to do? How to rewrite a children's script? How to strengthen the Adult part of a person? Most often, this is easier to do by working with a psychologist. He will help replace childhood beliefs imposed by parents with ones that are more suitable for him as an adult. Gradually, the Adult part of the personality will be able to make decisions independently, and not under the influence of stereotypes.