From the author: It is often a mystery to clients what happens during a consultation with a psychologist. This publication is an unobtrusive attempt to explain what may be happening there and why. Many people think that they need to go to a psychologist to talk it out. And that too. But often it is just an endless, seething fast flow, as if a floodgate had been released. And in this noisy stream, as if behind a curtain, the client hides something very important, constantly eluding even himself. I have to catch it and return it to those words, reactions to which I mentally attached checkboxes during active listening. We carefully work out each such moment that has slipped away: we depict it in sand compositions, in drawings, sculpt from plasticine, dance, listen to music, and much more (it’s not for nothing that my mother called me the Great Combinator for my creative approach to business). This approach allows you to easily and beautifully cope with complex tasks. After all, my task is not just to listen and empathize. And that too. But the most important thing is to work with those uncooked pieces that flounder inside, remaining unnoticed, but making themselves felt, poisoning the client from the inside with their uncooked toxicity, affecting his relationships with others and limiting his vision of the situation, life in general. Hence there is no contact with loved ones, resentment over misunderstanding and disagreement... And where does contact come from? He is not tuned in to it, he simply lowers the floodgate in order to at least partially release in a stormy stream what is pressing from within. Once, one fleeting dad asked me how he could change his 19-year-old son and establish contact with him. I advised him not to do anything about his son, but to work a little on himself. He is a business man, the head of an enterprise, and it is important for him to “solve” as many problems as possible in an hour of consultation. And so I rush after this business man and mentally (and on paper too) make tick marks. The feeling with such talkers is that you are deliberately being led away from these important ticks (uncooked and already pulsating with inflammation pieces) and I feel like a hunter following the trail of a cunning animal that confuses them (the client is not intentional, of course, unconsciously). At some point, I stop his convincing, passionate speech and begin to get closer to these tick-pieces, clarifying, paying attention, digesting. After several meetings, my business client breathlessly told me that for the first time he was able to have a heart-to-heart talk with his son and it seemed to him that “thanks to you.” He began to understand himself more through our meetings, not to run headlong, missing important moments, to stop, to feel something, to be in touch with himself. By the way, he came to me on the recommendation of a gastroenterologist; he himself began to suspect that the cause of the disease was not physiological. As the “uncooked” decomposing pieces were boiled, the diseases also receded. One client, analyzing our meeting, also shared that she felt like a capricious girl who was offered a spoonful of porridge (when I drew her attention to a very important uncooked piece of her life), and she seemed to constantly turn away from the “spoon”, leading me into other conversations, confusing the trail. But a little later, I again offered her to boil this treasured “spoon”. This was repeated three times until finally I received a long-awaited sigh of relief, a limp body freed from tension and a clearer look. Brew the best moments! Stop, slow down, look at their faces, listen to their breathing. I highly recommend watching the film based on real events, “Peaceful Warrior.” But it slows down better when those aggravating unpleasant uncooked moments that I wrote about above have been worked out and digested. Because they pull their eyes down, tearing them away from the blue sky and bright sun, not allowing them to hear the singing of beautiful birds and many magical sounds. Each consultation is like a thin stream of clean water pouring into a glass of.