This article was prompted to write by a recent meeting with my older sister. I just want to share my thoughts and emotions...So, I am 56 years old, and my sister is 2 years older, and we grew up in such a classic “Soviet” family, where the spirit of unity of command reigned. The opinion of our parents was law for us, and disobedience was harsh was punished by the father. The mother quietly agreed with all this. It was so convenient for her. After all, children with such drills practically do not cause trouble. This is a very, very brief prehistory. So. I managed and was able to get rid of their harsh influence (read - control) : I moved to another city, I can express my opinion, defend it and, most importantly, tell my parents “no” if necessary. My sister didn’t, but looking at me, how I communicate with my parents, she took timid steps to defend hers, how psychologists say, borders. Here she is visiting us. And literally on her second day of rest, our father calls her and scolds her as a guilty first-grader. You see, she left her elderly parents (in my sister’s absence, my 35-year-old niece, my sister’s daughter, came to see them ) . My sister was very upset and began to cry. I felt very sorry for my sister and I began to think about how to help her. We had already had conversations several times. My sister was clearly in sync with her parents. Experts also call this process - confluence. According to the ethical code of a psychologist working with relatives, friends, subordinates or managers is impossible for obvious reasons. I won’t dwell on them. The code can be found in specialized literature. Well, what should you do? Here you help strangers, but here is your sister. You want to help. And you know how, and on the other hand - the code. And I decided to let her perform the NLP technique to get out of the merger with her parents. From theory and my own practice I know that if children are in fusion with their parents (normally, this is allowed until about 3 years of age, then there is a deviation that leads to various disturbances in interpersonal interaction), then psychocorrection does not work. My sister spent a long time looking for a connection, whereby she was connected with her parents. And such an interesting, but monstrous image appeared - two volcanoes and she was inside them. After performing this technique, she had an insight, she realized her position, and she and I integrated the bodily and mental components after leaving the merger. It didn't take long to check the work done. Over the next week, the sister was able to have an adult conversation with her parents and they changed their communication with her towards softening. For questions about counseling and psychotherapy, you can contact me. Contact phone - 908-959-26-10 "May the one who walks master the road"