The main reason that brings people to see me is problems in interpersonal relationships, namely conflicts with family, friends, misunderstandings with colleagues, dissatisfaction with certain areas of relationships, etc. Having not even much experience in therapeutic practice, it became clear to me that the basis of all the client’s relationships is based on only one thing - his relationship with himself. The paradox is that everyone is alone with themselves from childhood, and has the opportunity to know everything about themselves and build strong relationships with themselves. However, in practice this is far from the case; most people find it difficult to answer questions about their internal organization, their resources or their own boundaries. How so?! I think this parting with myself began in childhood. Many in childhood had to hide their features, characteristics, and hide their real selves. There are many reasons for this: avoiding criticism and punishment, gaining approval, survival, etc. Surely, many will remember, including myself, how a parent insists on changes in which you need to become better than you are, try to be like someone (with a list of ideals), while slowness, restlessness, and thinness must be pointed out , overweight, aggressiveness, arrogance, shyness, academic failure, and much more that did not meet expectations. This is how the opinion of an “unsuitable” person, such as he is, was formed, and the habit of saying what is considered correct, doing what is considered necessary, doing what is socially approved, behaving in such a way as to be liked was also formed. This pursuit of approval and love from others can be endless. The result is insincerity, striving for other people’s goals, disappointment, loneliness. Now I answer the question “Why go to a psychologist?” In order to return to yourself, establish contact with yourself, find the sources of your vital energy, and only after that build a harmonious relationship with the environment. The psychologist here acts as a guide, since he owns some helping tools and is that safe object with which you can build those very harmonious relationships in order to later transfer this experience to relationships with other people. If we talk about working with traumatic events, then here we need that Other, since once in the past it was not possible to cope with this alone, then the psychologist is the one who will be there at the present moment, with whom true experience and response is possible .Only when a person recognizes his own characteristics, differences from others, his boundaries, his true desires, gets acquainted with his resources and begins to use them, does he have a chance to understand and accept himself. In other cases, this is “work on oneself” (usually requiring a lot of effort), the same work that had to be done since childhood, work on super-improving oneself or adjusting oneself to other people’s expectations, which sooner or later leads to disappointment and a state of complete devastation , in which only the questions “who am I?”, “what do I want?”, “where am I going?” Work in psychotherapy is aimed at finding unique answers to these questions. It's like laying the foundation for a building, where engineering-geological surveys, high-quality analysis of soil and territorial features are necessary so that the building remains strong and stable in any weather..