Today the idea of ​​how to recognize your unfinished gestalt became very clear in your head. It seems obvious, but this was the first time such a thought had occurred to me. The first sign is tension. Tension that occurs in contact with someone or something. Its nature is not clear, and you want to avoid the tension itself (which is most often done). Behind the tension lies an unsatisfied need. The second sign is the loss of freedom to deal with oneself and this person or object. The third sign is the avoidance of both the situations in which this person or object may meet, and the tension itself in one way or another. The “simplest” way deal with the unfinished gestalt - allow yourself to experience tension as fully as possible for some time. Especially in the presence of that person or object. Then it becomes possible to understand what kind of need is hidden behind the tension, and to find a form of interaction with a person-object. PS And then you simply don’t need psychotherapy.