If in childhood a mother screamed, called names, threatened to send her to an orphanage, ridiculed, beat, forced her to do backbreaking housework, this leaves deep wounds in the soul and often (though not always) leads to that in adulthood a person feels nothing towards his mother except resentment, hatred and disgust. He realizes that violence was committed against him and, while feeling anger towards the rapist, is not tormented by a feeling of guilt for this. And often he even wants to take revenge and, at times, carries out his revenge in one way or another. He also receives the support of others - those who know how the parent treated the child do not condemn him, but show sympathy and express indignation at the behavior mother. Except when they don't believe the victim of maternal violence. Such disbelief is most often due to the fact that there was or is violence in their family, which they for one reason or another refuse to acknowledge. In a more difficult situation are those whose parents carried out hidden violence, for example, through overprotection, when under the guise of care the child was harmed no less than the one who was beaten and called names. Unhealthy control and suppression deprive the will and destroy the personality, and if it is a child, then it does not allow this personality to form at all. Greenhouse conditions do not give the child the opportunity to develop, gain self-confidence and autonomy. At the same time, in the case of overprotection, a person seems to have no right to be angry with his parents, because they “want the best for him.” Up to a certain point, an overprotected child does not feel discomfort. But the older he gets, the more noticeably the internal conflict between his two parts manifests itself, one of which is angry and wants to resist suppression, and the other feels guilty for this anger and for trying to protect itself from psychological violence. It often happens that the cause of irritation is Parents are not recognized by the growing child. The belief that his parents love him and do everything only for his benefit does not allow him to trust his feelings, which indicate that he is being harmed. In this case, the feeling of guilt will be even stronger, because he seems to be angry for no reason at his parents who love him and care about his well-being. In addition, such a person will have a high tolerance for violence in the future, since he is accustomed to mistaking violence for love. Other consequences of overprotection include difficulties in recognizing one’s feelings and desires, difficulties in choosing a profession, a partner, self-doubt, increased anxiety, difficulties in relationships with others, low self-esteem, difficulties making money, various forms of addiction, inability to physically and/or or emotional separation from parents. The victim of overprotection also finds confirmation that he is a bad son or daughter from those around him who shame him for his ingratitude. Often only in a psychologist’s office is a person who was subjected to overprotection in childhood, and whose parents still strive to continue to control him, realizes the damage caused to him and receives support. Calling a spade a spade and drawing the line between violence and love is the turning point where internal and external changes begin. Thank you for your “thank you” and comments! If you liked the publication, subscribe so as not to miss the next ones. You can sign up for a consultation here or by calling +7-913-473-71-47 (WhatsApp, Telegram)