From the author: What happens between therapy sessions? How to learn to live without therapy? How do you know if the client is succeeding? The article represents reflections on these issues. It would be absurd to demand that the same tree bear flowers and fruits at the same time. Wilhelm Windelband “Sunday Dress” I recently read in one book how the author talks about “Sunday dress”. The meaning of this concept is that people do something important and useful for themselves only one day a week. For example, they go to trainings, engage in self-development, and train willpower. But as soon as they step outside the threshold, they completely forget about everything until the next time. There is a feeling as if they really put on their “Sunday outfit”, and then carefully put it away in the wardrobe and don’t even think about it the rest of the week. It’s very interesting to observe such a switch in people, because it often looks like two different people. One was just filled with enthusiasm, sang, danced, showed ingenuity and erudition. The other one is just the most ordinary one, the one that was there before putting on the outfit. One gets the impression that he temporarily fell asleep, went on a short vacation, a one-day day off. Switching and therapy This behavior is not at all uncommon when it comes to therapy. The client regularly attends classes and successfully completes all assignments. But after a certain time, it may turn out that there is no special dynamics with a “plus” sign. Each session represents a switching. The client is distracted from ordinary life and all the usual ways of thinking and behaving. Of course, this gives him a certain effect, perhaps primarily in an emotional sense. It turns out that there are opportunities to change what has been bothering him for a long time. Having inhaled the air of change, the client returns to everyday life with a new perception of the world. However, the essence of such a switch is not at all to change consciousness or cause a strong emotional reaction. Otherwise, therapy will be no different from a “Sunday suit.” In any case, the “scent of change” will soon dissipate, and the client will again be faced with his usual reality. Life from session to session The most interesting and important thing is exactly what happens in the client’s life between sessions. He returns to normal reality. It’s not that there is a different reality in the therapist’s office, but here everything happens differently, according to different rules. If the client begins to become aware of these rules, and with them of himself, inscribed in the system of relationships with others and the world, then this will be a serious step forward. Now he gains awareness and understanding that he has entered a new path, which he himself is following, at times making the next switch in the therapist’s office. But if such an understanding has not yet been achieved, then the old scenario continues to operate, and therapy becomes a “Sunday outfit.” The extreme case is when it turns into a ritual. Learning to live without therapy It is no secret that the ultimate goal of therapy assumes that the client will begin to move through life independently, without external help. How, when and at what point does this happen? I have a partial sports analogy with a relay race, when runners pass a baton to each other. At some point, the initiative-baton for managing the process is transferred to the client. Of course, this does not mean complete control over what is happening. We are talking about a fairly deep understanding of the process in which fairly clear expectations are formed for the upcoming session. If earlier there was an awareness of oneself and one’s relationship with the world, now the ability to realize one’s own goals from the session is added to this. In addition to involvement in the process of change, there appears the ability to steer, that is, to strive for a clear, clear result of this process. The balance between being both process-oriented and result-oriented is proof that the client has taken the baton. Now he is in a sense