Any addiction begins with a lack. When a person feels a lack of something, he tries to fill it. Dependent relationships begin with a lack of love. Everyone has a need for love, but for some this need becomes neurotic and insatiable. Feeling a lack of love, a person looks for someone who will fill this lack. In an effort to satisfy the need as quickly as possible, a person chooses the most accessible partner, often turning a blind eye to how suitable the partner is for him. And as the relationship progresses, these inconsistencies begin to appear, which causes irritation. Usually, at this stage, there is a desire to change your partner, to remake him for yourself. At the same time, the partner does not intend to change and resists in every possible way. Irritation is growing. At a certain point, so much negativity accumulates that a person seeks to get out of this relationship. And he understands that he cannot do this. This is how the main feature of dependent relationships manifests itself - I cannot be with you and I cannot be without you. Why is this happening? Why is it so difficult to leave an addictive relationship? The fact is that a person with a neurotic need for love also has a very strong fear of loneliness. And it is formed in early childhood. After all, for a small child, dependence on the mother ensures survival, and being abandoned means death. Likewise, in adulthood, the loss of a partner is perceived by a person as a threat to his own life. And therefore it is very difficult to get out of such a relationship on your own. And in the case when a partner leaves, the person experiences the loss as a catastrophe. For an addicted person, relationships are of great value, so he tries to preserve them at any cost. Manipulation of the partner’s attention is often used. For example, “I will do everything you want for you”, “I will die without you”, “I am everything for you, and you...”. In extreme cases, threats and blackmail may be used. In dependent relationships, the partner is perceived as a substitute for a parental figure, and therefore the same requirements are placed on him as on a parent. Namely, the demand for unconditional love. This manifests itself in phrases such as “you must love me for who I am.” And, since the need for love in an addicted person is insatiable, he experiences strong jealousy towards his partner. Such a person is jealous of his partner not only of another person, but also of animals, things, and hobbies. A person prone to dependent relationships will always feel that they are not loved enough. And, while experiencing strong attachment to his partner, he also experiences constant irritation that the partner cannot give as much love as he needs. Therefore, being in a dependent relationship is difficult for both partners. It takes a lot of energy to maintain such relationships. The consequence may be poor health, loss of interest in life, and psychosomatic illnesses. Is it possible to get out of a dependent relationship? It is possible, although it can be very difficult to do. The first stage is recognizing the fact - I am in a dependent relationship. Then there are several ways. Termination of relationships by force of will. The realization that relationships bring too much suffering. In this case, there is a nuance - having ended one relationship, there is a risk of entering into another, exactly the same. Therefore, it is advisable to work on yourself after leaving an addictive relationship - on your own or with a psychologist. Another option involves working with a psychologist - either alone or with a partner. If both partners are willing to work on themselves, the relationship can become healthier. Even if only one partner asks for help, improving the relationship in a couple is quite possible. It often happens that after working with a psychologist, a person gets rid of the tendency to dependent relationships. This gives him the opportunity to get out of the current relationship and build new, healthy relationships in the future. In any case, working on yourself is important - developing your own personality, the ability to take care of yourself, working with your inner self..