From the author: A psychologist’s opinion about losing weight, personal opinion and subjective experience. I am not a doctor, not a nutritionist, not a fitness trainer. I received a somewhat unexpected question about what I personally consider proper nutrition and how to lose weight? Since I have a question, I’ll answer. I’ll start with the psychological reasons for excess weight. Excess weight always acts as a protection against something or someone. What could be the reasons: The desire to be good. I am humiliated, offended, neglected, used, and I cannot answer anything, because good girls do not swear, do not demand attention and respect, always help everyone, are not selfish at all and think only about others. Don't you think it's funny? That's not funny to me either. A person living in such a picture of the world is forced to suppress all his stresses and eat them away. Here we are often talking about the desire to be loved. After all, there is a belief that only good people are loved. If I defend myself, I will be abandoned, abandoned, denied love and support. Honesty with yourself is important here: do you really receive this love and support, or are you just being fed “breakfast”. This is a very important point, that if I become good to the hundred millionth degree, then they will definitely love me. Sorry to disappoint, but this is a scam. People who don't love and support you won't love and support you, neither when you are good, nor when you become a stunning beauty. This is the bitter truth. You deserve love and respect, regardless of weight, appearance and other parameters. Accepting this simple thought is usually very difficult, it is important to discuss it with a psychologist, and look for those people who will support and love you, regardless of appearance. 2. Inability to defend yourself and set boundaries It follows from the previous one: a person is so afraid of aggression towards himself that he prefers, excuse me, to shut his mouth with food. This is a very painful experience. It is important to learn to competently overcome conflicts, learn to defend yourself, learn to act from your needs, and get what you want.3. Bodily sensations are prohibited Colleagues, body-oriented therapists, write a lot on this topic. A person who is overweight often does not know how to recognize the signals and urges of his body, except for hunger. If you want to go to the toilet - it is perceived as hunger, you want sex - it is perceived as hunger, you want communication - it is perceived as hunger, you want hugs, protection - it is perceived as hunger, feeling thirsty is also perceived as hunger. Fitness trainers talk a lot about thirst and suggest drinking water when you feel hungry. It’s an option, but it’s important to still include logic. The normal human body wants to eat at least 3 times a day, and if you actually had breakfast, lunch and dinner, then thirst is due. It is still important to understand that there is not only thirst. The inability to feel oneself, one’s body, and feel one’s needs is well worked out in psychotherapy. But even outside the psychologist’s office, it is important to learn to ask yourself: what am I feeling, is it what my body wants or stress?4. Bad habits, parental instructions and food violence. There are families in which clearly unhealthy habits and opinions are passed down from generation to generation: Low-fat is tasteless You can’t be hungry, otherwise you will be weak First food, then sweets So we’re starving, but you eat and grow big (from the older generation) You’ll be like Masha/Svetka/Ninka from the next door, just as scary, a pole, skin and bones (of course you want to be handsome so that your mother will love you, and so we eat, eat, eat) Why should you marry him? , marry Vanka, he likes everything (in a situation where a woman wants to lose weight in order to become more attractive to significant men) Etc. to infinity. And of course, purely culinary habits - an abundance of fat, sauces, salt, fast food, etc. About food violence - a separate topic, I think everyone is familiar with the situation when, in childhood, a mother or a kindergarten teacher forces you to finish eating, that is, , what you don’t like, promising candy. This is how one of the very dangerous habits is formed: first, eat to your heart’s content in order to eat the candy for whichthen you also scold yourself. Sweets reduce appetite, all mothers know about this; if a child eats sweets, he will therefore not eat “normal” food. And here it is twofold: on the one hand, this is maternal care, everyone wants her baby to grow up healthy, but sometimes it is mother’s selfishness and fatigue, because she worked so much, earned so much, carried food, and you, so ungrateful, don’t eat.5 . Food as a way of love It also happens that any concern in the parental family is connected with eating: You’re sad, go eat. When a person was cared for only this way in childhood, he also does not learn to take care of himself in a different way. I felt sad, my boss offended me, I had a fight with my husband - I need to buy a cake. Those. no other methods of self-support have been formed. You need to learn to support yourself in a different way: talk to someone, take a bath, go for a massage, watch a good movie, read a good book, etc. I think you have already noticed that this topic is very a lot about my mother, about my relationship with her. It is important to deal with this relationship, forgive, understand that she wanted what was best, and did what she considered useful. Mom is also a person, and she could make mistakes herself. This is about an adult position - I love and thank my mother, and at the same time I allow myself to disagree with her unquestioningly, to have my own opinion. Well, as I promised, I will write my opinion about nutrition. I am not a doctor and my opinion is subjective. Let me start with the fact that I am against all extremes, hunger strikes, fasting days, short-term diets, raw food diets, mono-diets, and almost always vegetarianism. With rare exceptions, when vegetarianism is accompanied by some kind of religious, value-based, spiritual goals, when the diet is really worked out with in terms of providing the proper amount of protein, vitamins and fats. It is no secret that the medical opinion here is the same; the diet should take into account individual health characteristics and the region of residence. But this is usually not about losing weight. I believe that a diet should be one that you can follow for the rest of your life. Those. such a method and diet that will provide energy, health, balance of elements, take into account the peculiarities of the constitution, metabolism, medical indications and contraindications. Personally, I share the ideas of Eastern and Tibetan medicine (doshas in Ayurveda, Tibetan types), and Western systems, clearly justified from a medical point of view (for example, the diet according to Dr. D'Adamo's group). All these systems are based on the fact that all people are different, that a balance of all elements is necessary, from the fact that there are benefits in all products, it is important to choose individual ones, and there are no restrictions on calorie content and the number of meals. Of course, in an amicable way, it is important contact a nutrition specialist to develop an individual diet, but even if you cannot find such a specialist, this is not a reason to torture yourself with hunger strikes or continue to eat foods that are hazardous to your health. The principles of a healthy diet are well known: limiting processed products, sauces, sugar, salt, fast food, carbonated drinks, chemical additives, primarily preservatives and moisture-retaining agents, focusing on vegetables, grains, dairy and meat products. But this does not mean (unless you have medical contraindications) that you now cannot eat sugar, salt, chips, nuts and burgers at all. The problem is that almost everyone eats them, including skinny people. The difference is that some do this once a month, and others every day. Nutritionists have developed special indicators based on X grams of proteins, fats, carbohydrates per 1 kg of weight. You can find them out from fitness doctors, competent fitness trainers, or seek advice from a nutritionist. I am for eating something you love (but only one), every day of the diet and in limited quantities, today a small chocolate bar, then a small burger tomorrow, the rest of the time whatever suits the diet. I believe that food should bring pleasure, satiate and give energy, and at the same time be healthy. For example, I really love carrots, I make pies with them (from lean…