✨What it does: the victim feels bad and suffers a lot. If you look around, you can always find a reason for this. An example from a chat conversation: how can I be happy when children in Africa are starving. Well, what is the reason?✨Interaction with others: when communicating with a victim, the first impulse is to start saving, do something for her, give advice. After all, she can’t cope with difficult things. I want to protect and protect. Usually these are the quietest people. And life is full of humility and humility. You usually feel very sorry for them, they look suffering. The subtext is something like this: a right, good person became a victim of difficult circumstances and bad people. The severity of their suffering can be limitless. Three distinctive features of the victim: ✅ Responsibility for their life does not lie with them. The source of their problems and sorrows is always somewhere around, in the external environment. Crisis, collapse of the USSR, wrong country, wrong time, loser husband, clueless children, bad parents, etc. ✅ A lot of unconscious aggression. Which in most cases manifests itself passively, in the form of provocations and manipulations. Those. the victim's behavior may motivate you to save her. She almost always does not directly state her desires. The victim loves to blame. This is also a manifestation of aggression. In response to this, other people usually begin to sacrifice their interests, put aside their needs, and forget about their boundaries. And the victim receives his share of attention and participation in her suffering. The victim loves to cry and complain.✅The victim tries to do everything right. And this goodness and correctness gives them reason to expect the desired reaction from other people. good attitude towards the victim. Those. such an agreement that is concluded unilaterally.❗A classic example: a mother who sacrificed her life for the sake of a child and expects him to repay debts in the form of the right (in her opinion) choice. The child’s step to the right or to the right ends in reproaches and tears and whining on her part.🔼Victims are constant participants in the Karpman triangle. She is the aggressor and the rescuer. It is quite possible that even while reading these lines, you remembered some example of a victim from life. And they got angry and became an aggressor. Or vice versa, you wanted to help. And now you are already in the role of a rescuer. The position of the victim is familiar to each of us. After all, we were all children. And this does not mean that you suffered a lot. It’s just that a child rarely has a choice. His parents decide a lot for him. Often against his wishes. 🔻That is, in essence, if sacrifice prevails in us, we have a lot of Inner Suffering Child. This means there is no adult part and no supporting parent.✨I used to fall into the state of a victim in everyday matters, or when the youngest child got sick and I suddenly had to be with her all day. But I learned to negotiate with myself and others. Now I only donate when I'm tired. I catch this desire to suffer and redistribute the load. ❗And before these areas of universal sacrifice there were a million times more. It passes. I invite everyone to consultations via Skype and WhatsApp. We will turn your sacrifice into tasks and find solutions together.