Parents underestimate the consequences of their excessive care for their children. Too often it backfires on them. I'll share with you a story that serves as a prime example of where things can go. In 2021, there was news that 41-year-old Faiz Siddiqui, who was living rent-free in his mother's flat in central London, was filing for a lawsuit against his parents because after a quarrel they want to reduce his allowance. The parents give him, converting into rubles, 40 thousand a week and want to give him less because they consider their son difficult and demanding. Before the story with the parents, there was the story with the university . In 2011, Faiz filed a lawsuit due to the fact that he was not given the highest score. In his defense, he said that the subjects were boring. The court refused to approve the claim and refuse to pay 120 million rubles. Faiz, an adult child, clearly did not think it was time to grow up, adapt to life and take responsibility for his actions. And the point here is not only in him, but also in his parents, who took away his opportunities to become independent, solving problems for him. And one fine day, the son had a reasonable claim to his parents: “You took care of me for 40 years, why now should I do it myself?” The sad thing about this story is that he is right. Parents sincerely believed that their main goal was to take care of the child. And this is what it led to. The real mission of parents is not to care, but to teach the child to live without them. I do not mean that Care is not important. It is very important, but you don’t need to make it the meaning of “parenting” and your life. If you love your child too much, take care and patronage, solve problems for him, taking away opportunities to learn and develop, then the child will face the following problems: • will not be able to accept decisions on your own; will be dependent on other people's opinions • frequent changes of mood, tendency to quirks; vividly demonstrating one's desires to others • will avoid responsibility and act impulsively; in case of failures, he will blame others• he will have a poor understanding of his feelings and emotions• he will not be able to cope with stressful situations without harm to the psyche and body (we are talking about diseases or the use of psychoactive substances)• he will experience severe anxiety over trifles• he will not be able to make friends and establish relationships trusting relationships with others• will not be able to protect himself and defend his interests• will succumb to momentary temptations and will not be able to achieve his goals.• will often deceive in order to get what he wants• will not be able to take into account the point of view of another person (my opinion is also wrong)• will refuse to take responsibility for your words, desires and actions• will evaluate yourself mostly negatively, which is why emotional states such as shame and guilt will be common• even having the opportunity to improve your situation, the emotional state will not have the desire to do so (learned syndrome helplessness)• will not be able to be critical of his thoughts, words, actions (even to the point of narcissism)• when faced with difficulties, he will cry and wait for help. To love and care for a child too much means dooming him to a life with such problems. And if the child has problems, then so do the parents. Overprotection: Consequences for parents Growing up in a certain environment, the child learns the rules of behavior and norms that are established by the parents. In some families it is customary to say thank you when getting up from the table, and in some - then no. In some families it is customary to ask for forgiveness and improve relationships, but in others it is not. It will get better on its own. Thus, parents create a world for the child in which some things are normal and some things are not. And so the child grows up in a world in which parents must, to put it more generally, take care of him. And if they stop, as in the story above, then dissatisfaction and complaints arise. The meaning of these complaints boils down to the following thought: “I lived in a comfortable world, I like everything, I’m happy with everything, and you decided to change something! Know that I’m against . Therefore, return everything as it was." Claims may!