Good afternoon everyone. I’m analyzing the most frequently asked questions based on requests in 2022. Publication with statistics on requests here https://www.b17.ru/article/409332/So.. My wife doesn’t want sex. This request is heard very often in therapy. Let's understand the reasons. First of all, what exactly does the wife not want? Let's highlight three main options: 1. I don't want any sex with anyone at all. No libido2. I don't want sex with this particular person3. I don’t want the kind of sex that exists. In the first case, we are looking for a physical reason. You need to check your physical health, get tested for hormones. Next, check your psychological health to see if there is depression, chronic stress, or fatigue. In the second case, you need to look for psychological reasons. Resentment towards the husband, protracted conflicts, loss of feelings of love. In the overwhelming majority of cases, reluctance to have intimacy with a specific partner arises due to psychological reasons. Intimate life here is like a “litmus test” demonstrating the presence of emotional problems in a couple. Example: the wife no longer feels like a “woman” in a relationship; does not hear compliments, does not receive gifts. As a result, she doesn’t want to show playfulness, affection, or coquetry at all. The man, in turn, does not give attention and does not give gifts, because he does not see feedback in the form of affection, coquetry and intimacy. Or, the husband cheated; The couple maintained their marriage, but “for some reason” the wife doesn’t want intimacy. Sometimes the body itself speaks about problems. When during intimacy a woman feels pain, is not pleasant, and is repulsed by the smell and touch of her partner. In such cases, it's not about sex at all. And the request should not be “problems in sex,” but loss of feelings. In the third case, go to a sexologist. Different preferences and needs of spouses are a frequent reason for reluctance to be intimate. For example, a man ignores foreplay and does not show tenderness. Such sex “came, saw, conquered” gives pleasure only to him. In some cases, a woman can feign pleasure from such intimacy, but she will not want it, and the man will read this non-verbally. Thus, problems with intimate life are most often not an independent problem, but a consequence of an unresolved crisis. That is why you should first of all go to a psychologist with such requests. And then, if necessary, he will refer you to specialized specialists.