From the author: The expectation of happiness and the search for one’s partner worries people of different age categories. You can get married well at the age of 40, if you have filled your life with joyful moments and interesting events. In the FB feed I read an advertisement for a training: “I had 3 children, a successful business and I got married after 40 years, come to the training and you can." Next advertisement: "if you have a chance to marry a foreigner? Advice from an international trainer: 1. Flexible determination; 3. Learn from me the ingredients of success." The problem of loneliness is considered from different aspects, such as a person’s emotional state, lack of intimacy and communication, a person’s awareness of his existence, the cry of the soul or the need for solitude, a feeling of isolation. If we are talking about relationships, many after the age of 40, when looking for a partner, prefer option for a modern guest marriage. Reflecting: I will have a partner, but I want to live separately, if necessary, I will meet with him, go on vacation together. Or, at the other extreme, they convince themselves that at this age there are only grandchildren and lonely old age. But now I would like to reflect on the topic: “is it realistic to get married after 40 years”? Since 2004, I have been helping to find a partner, start a family, build relationships, a little from practice. What prevents women from establishing relationships after 40 years: - having a crown, which does not allow dating a man (I am strong, businesslike, beautiful, well-groomed, confident, but I crushed men, I don’t like anyone); - inadequate demands (Cinderella is looking for a prince/oligarch); - youthful stereotypes (the girl has grown up, but her whims remain); - the search for a better option (words of Agafya Tikhonovna from “Marriage” by N.V. Gogol - if you put your lips to your nose, and add swagger and portliness, then the groom is excellent); - inability to interest (position: I give you a chance, and you owe me - pay for a taxi, entertain me, take me for walks in warm places); - wrong tactics at the beginning of a relationship (panic if you haven’t responded to an SMS, 30 SMS a day, do you like barter?!?, desire to sort things out); - poor own support (no job, stable income, own interests, housing, friends, problems with finances and health); - I’m a mother (all the talk is only about her children, about their successes, about what little babies they are); - lack of interest in myself (you can mend your jeans and wear them for a few more years, what is a dress ? Are there clothes in my size? hairstyle done in 1996 - the most suitable) - fanatical search for a partner (frequent sexual contacts, one-time meetings, disappointment). If a woman, after 40 years of marriage, hopes to solve financial problems and shift them onto the shoulder of her future husband, then the man should probably be older than her (on her wedding day, her future husband presented one lady with the keys to a five-room apartment in St. Petersburg, the age difference is +25 years). If a woman wants to get rid of loneliness, she should start, first of all, with herself, with self-love, accept her disadvantages and features. Think about your hobbies, interests, various courses from driving a car to rock climbing, finding your own style, learning new arts (playing the piano), expand your circle of friends and in this circle you will definitely meet a man who shares her interests. A woman in search of great love after 40 years old has every chance of a successful marriage. I would like to wish everyone who is thinking about changes in their life: accept your age as a wonderful experience that helped you become a professional/good mother/master of your craft; value yourself and your interests, read books, go to the theater, listen to music and study dance salsa, travel, expand the boundaries of your life, learn to design clothes, batik painting; treat yourself with respect, meet and communicate, practice your ability to interest a man; believe that a man sees, first of all, your interest in him, and not branded bags and excess weight, if you are comfortable in your body,"