Everyday life of a psychologist I post a case from my practice with the consent of the client. Woman - 35 years old, married, no children, freelancer. During long-term therapy, I freed myself from two phobias and from deep trauma after physical violence. Today, at the next consultation, the client suggested we talk about her increased anxiety and fear of losing her cat. She was preparing to leave for a long time and take the cat with her, but obsessive feelings of loss make her worry and buy various security products for animals. The upcoming desired trip is slowly turning into an obsessive state of anxiety and loss of security. I asked the client about what happened in her childhood related to cats? The client immediately remembered and began to tell: “Once in my childhood I found a small kitten on the street. He was so weak and defenseless. I took it and took it home. My mother met me at home, and I showed her the kitten and asked permission to let him live with us. Mom was angry and harsh and said her categorical no. I cried, took the kitten and dragged myself outside. It was late evening and it was raining heavily. My heart sank from pain, fear and powerlessness, sobs burst out loudly. I left the kitten in the same place where I found it. I walked back to the house for a long time, sobbing, smearing snot and tears all over my face and constantly turning around, trying to make sure that the kitten was still alive. I still feel the bitterness and resentment of that event!” I listened to her carefully and when she fell silent, I expressed words of support and empathy to her. Then I explained that her personal individual experience - grief, left to live with her - was stuck, since for some reason she did not live it in that period of her life. Reasons that could prevent her from experiencing grief: - resentment mixed with anger (at yourself, at your mother) - embarrassment because you feel anger and resentment (after all, you can’t be angry, it’s wrong, it’s useless) - a feeling of guilt (it’s your own fault) - sometimes a thought gets in the way, if I don’t remember this I’ll forget everything sooner - attitude: control yourself in your hands, don’t cry - the opposite attitude: crying all the time - inability to cope with grief. Today, remembering this incident, the client was able to admit that she had this grief. This is how the experience of grief and the way out of it begins. Then everything will depend on her choice: - I allow myself to feel everything that happened then and live: forbidden feelings, emotions, thoughts, actions, sensations. - I don’t allow it - I run away, I’m afraid of painful feelings and emotions. The first choice will bring liberation. It’s really hard to say how long it will take to process grief. The second option will seal the grief and at some stressful moment in life it will manifest itself in the body, for example, an allergy to cats, dogs, rats, etc. The grief experienced creates silence inside, without interfering with life. Continue.