From the author: many people fall in love, but only a few love. ...I have long wanted to write an article about true love, because it actually exists! Unfortunately, it doesn’t happen often, and yet... Why do people mistake for love something that is not love? Today I again came across how people sometimes confuse themselves! A young woman is thinking. Should she return to the child's father or try her luck in a new relationship. After all, they had already broken up, she kicked him out, because she was tired of his inattention to her and the child, his utter selfishness, endless criticism of her, elementary greed, and even, as it turned out, he even raised his hand against her while living on her territory. She showed him the door, cried, filed for alimony and began to move on with her life. He calmly left and did not appear until he found out that his “ex” had a boyfriend. Then he suddenly became alarmed and remembered that he had a child who needed not only material support, but also paternal upbringing. Oh how! And he began to visit them, and at the same time began to tell them how he loved both her and the child, that he had changed, and that it was no good for them to live separately! Otherwise, at any time, she will do something stupid, for example, marry another man! Why didn’t he propose marriage to her before? So I wasn't ready! But now, finally, he’s matured! She thought... what if he really has changed and loves her, after all, the father of the child! These are the kinds of metamorphoses that happen in people’s minds when they don’t have access to their deepest feelings, they can’t recognize their feelings, and once upon a time they decided to live with their heads, guided by logic. Why is that? It is both simple and difficult at the same time. As a rule, if a child grew up in a warm atmosphere of love and acceptance, he intuitively imprints such an attitude towards himself; it cannot be confused with anything! It’s as if a radar recognition system “friend or foe” appears in the brain, which unmistakably determines whether love is pouring out on you or something else! Such sensations cannot be confused with any others. But if there is nothing to compare within yourself with, then confusion is inevitable! People of art add fuel to the fire: writers, directors, screenwriters. As a rule, all their stories are not about love, but about falling in love, about passion, about love addiction, about suffering. Because it’s watchable, bright, emotional, spectacular, sexy! The main difference between falling in love and love, as is known, is the rapidity of its occurrence, the presence of “rose-colored glasses” and a strong sexual attachment. It would seem, well, what’s the catch? ?? Everything is great: there is sympathy, there is passion, the speed of emergence is also present!!! This is the transience of this, friends, the transience of falling in love! Physiological arousal cannot last forever! In addition, rose-colored glasses quickly change to black! Idealization changes to devaluation. An expression from “love” to “hate”...... This is just about falling in love! Because we fall in love with our projections, and not with the real object. We don’t know the person at all! But the insidious libido has started working, and now we are no longer able to understand anything, we are intoxicated by “being in love,” and it is sometimes akin to a drug! Those who have experienced it themselves will confirm. Well, what is “love” then? Not passion, not falling in love, not addiction, not merging, then what? “Love” is the same abstract word as, for example, “happiness”, “harmony”. But “to love” is a verb, that is, to do something with oneself, for example, to develop this ability to love in oneself! This is why emotions (that is, falling in love) pass, but love, as the ability to give love, does not. If I know how to love, then I can love not only a specific person, but people in general, the world, ....