From the author: The article was published in 2010 in the author’s LiveJournal: Envy, according to Melanie Klein, is one of the fundamental and early feelings of a person. Envy and its sister - competition - contribute to the development of civilization, economy, culture and, in general, any progress. I became curious, why then are people so afraid of this feeling and avoid freely talking about their envy? I’m also interested in how they cope with envy? I’ll just try to think “out loud”, I’ll write everything that comes to mind. Why are they afraid? Version 1 – fear of isolation. If they find out that I am envious, they will be afraid of me, that I will cause damage, I might jinx it, etc. Therefore, they will begin to avoid communication and will be rejected. Version 2 - fear of weakness, helplessness, shame. If they find out that I envy, then they will understand that I am weak, weak, they will begin to despise me, they will stop appreciating me. Version 3 - fear that the feeling will devour me, consume me, cause pain that I cannot cope with. How do they cope? 1st St. Petersburg - classic depreciation: “the grapes are green”, it didn’t hurt that much! 2nd St. Petersburg - alienation and projection onto others: it’s not me who envy, it’s me who envy. 3rd St. Petersburg - a constant race for “plugs” of lack, fueled by the illusion that this is it, this is very close - I will have a couture dress, or breasts and lips like a movie star, or as much money or power as some businessman, or better yet, an oligarch - then my deficit will be filled, and envy will stop tormenting me. And I will finally be happy! 4 St. Petersburg - to get into the inner circle of lucky people who have what I want, in the hope that I will get something from their success... 5 St. Petersburg - to gloat when someone else has it even worse: nothing warms the soul like that , like the grief of a comrade:)) 6 St. Petersburg - disguise with flattery: oh, you are so beautiful! Oh, you're so cool! And most importantly, I wish you both great happiness, yeah! There are probably other ways, but they haven’t come to mind yet... All of the above methods are not very good, because they don’t relieve suffering. Is there a good way? Eat! And I know him. From my own experience. Getting rid of the torment of envy was not so difficult. It all took about a year: first I had to understand and admit that I was envious, then - that, it turns out, I was terribly envious!, then - with pain and bitterness, I noticed that I was jealous of everyone left and right, then - suddenly! - I am surprised to discover that where I should, out of habit, envy with the darkest envy - I don’t envy so much, and sometimes it’s actually a surprise :))))) - and I don’t envy at all!!! However, not every time, of course - sometimes I envy, but not painfully - so, with a slight sadness and a philosophical sigh. Briefly speaking. Everything is just outrageous! The first step to getting rid of the power of a feeling that oppresses you is to recognize and accept its presence. And all the “charms” of life that accompany it. Accept - for real, without fools. Very promotes.