“Fools learn from their own mistakes, and smart people learn from others’ mistakes.” - a saying that is known to many. In childhood, repeating this postulate, some parents try to warn their children against various kinds of, in their opinion, unnecessary, and sometimes harmful and dangerous actions. But what if we question the correctness of this statement, especially since life itself, with enviable consistency, proves this. The result of all actions or deeds for any of the people is experience, in other words, when something happens in life, people, having received certain knowledge about the consequences, develop for themselves a certain algorithm of behavior in such situations and remember it. The main purpose of acquiring life experience and its subsequent use is to ensure the safety of life and comfort of each person in the broadest sense. The question arises, why not use the experience of other people’s behavior in various situations? After all, this would allow us to avoid the undesirable consequences of many events that occur in the lives of most people. Indeed, there are many areas of human activity in which this happens. But unfortunately, and maybe fortunately, not in all of them. One of these areas where the experience of others is of little use is the relationship between a man and a woman. It is not uncommon that during consultations it turns out that people (both men and women) who have problems in relationships with partners often use the advice of their loved ones and acquaintances in their lives. Essentially, they use other people's experiences, which in turn does more harm than good. It would seem that everyone understands that any person is, first of all, an individual with his own habits and worldview, but for some reason attempts to build relationships according to someone else’s template continue. In my opinion, one of the reasons for this state of affairs is the fact that people are afraid of making some mistakes if they develop relationships on their own and therefore willingly use the experience that they gleaned from friends, in literature, in cinema. In reality, all this only leads to a deterioration in relations between partners. Each person is unique and therefore cannot be used as an example of the attitude of other people. Developing a relationship is a truly difficult and energy-consuming process, which is impossible without mistakes and their consequences, but meanwhile this is the only way to gain exclusive experience of communication and relationships with a partner. Many people express an opinion that boils down to the fact that people, allegedly using someone else’s model of relationships, strive to avoid conflicts in their couple. In my opinion, this is absurd, firstly, there can be no relationship without conflicts, and secondly, conflict allows you to better understand a loved one, his real desires and aspirations, the only question is how the conflict develops and what the consequences will be, but this is already a completely different story. There is one more aspect that requires attention. Most people change over time. Events that occur in life and a person’s natural attitude towards them are also subject to change. In relationships, it is inadmissible to rely only on life experience, since, due to the reasons stated above, a person can react to some events completely differently than he did before. Experience in this case is nothing more than a hint about a possible solution to the situation, but not a solid and only answer. It is very important, in my opinion, in a relationship to carefully observe how your partner changes internally and analyze the external manifestations of such a process, this will help to avoid many troubles. You should not perceive your own life experience as a stronghold that cannot be changed. Life sometimes presents enough surprises and it is worth remembering that what was right yesterday may become wrong tomorrow. Be more attentive to your loved ones! Live with joy! PS Make an appointment with me online/