The VICTIM DOES NOT KNOW THAT SHE IS A VICTIM There is such a memo for parents, perhaps you have seen it too. It lists the main points that form an essentially stable or, conversely, unstable psyche. So Now, the difficulty lies in the fact that with hidden emotional violence, the victim is not aware that it is being committed against her or has been committed previously for a long time. Because in the family there was a kingdom of substitution of concepts. That is, reproaches were presented as care. And criticism - as support. Ridicule - for a kind attitude with a sense of humor. Hostility - for tolerance. Insecurity - for safety. Violation of boundaries - for caring. An upside-down world. It is impossible to find support in this world, since all the supports are false. But for a long time a person is sure that they are the real supports. In addition, those who grew up in such a family not only look for similar “landmarks” when creating relationships, but they themselves act this way towards others. That is why, when examining a history of abusive relationships, You can find so many signs of such behavior on the part of the victim herself, especially at the beginning of a relationship. This is why victims tend not to always be able to immediately understand that they are victims. They have a sense of the correctness of their own behavior and the attitude of others towards them. Worse, in some cases, when faced with a healthy attitude towards themselves, the victim may recoil from their carrier as from an unsafe source. She's unfamiliar with this. It doesn't happen that way. This could be, and most certainly is, some kind of forgery. Once, and hides in the house until a new suitable tyrant-victim interaction occurs. And here she again feels, in the literal sense of the word, at home. How to distinguish, despite all the similarities, what is the dominant way of interaction in a person? Distinguish the victim from the tyrant. This is worth devoting a separate publication or even publications to. Because it is this aspect that often holds back the victim from helping himself. She begins to doubt that she is a victim, and, as a result, she cannot deal with this and gets stuck in self-criticism for a long time. Until the resources of the psyche and physics run out. Until something pushes the victim out of this position. Unfortunately, not everyone has enough life for this. Do you know this unpleasant feeling of doubt? I will help you figure out who you are in a relationship and find strength in yourself, if you already have an understanding, that it’s time to help yourself. Sign up via WhatsApp +79113049185 Or here in private messages.