Life from Monday, or how to change yourself! In general, it sounds very correct and positive! Well, who doesn’t know this? Pull yourself together and start exercising on Monday, go on a diet, go to work, etc. But, there is one thing... Wanting to radically change ourselves and our lives, we don’t even think about how we treat and interact with ourselves and the world as a whole! “From what place is our desire born”! But our result will depend on this! For many, the main way and method of influencing interaction with oneself is violence! You've probably said more than once that I need a KICK to start moving or doing something! Since childhood, we have been taught that we need to break, overcome, in order to get results. Discipline, will and no concessions, and no compromises. If you set a goal and start doing something, then achieve it or die! Surely you have all heard the phrases: “You never know, you’re tired,” “No word, I’m hungry, I need to eat,” and so on. Ignore the reactions of the body of the soul, no matter what you feel! And it turns out to be a kind of war, but it is a war with oneself. And YOU yourself are the loser, no matter how you say it! Violence is a way of contact with yourself and with the world! The way we were taught and accustomed to treat ourselves in childhood, or how we were treated, we bring into our adult life. Obedience is the most important way to abuse a child. It would seem that everyone wants obedient and comfortable children! But the essence of obedience comes down to ensuring that the child conscientiously follows the adult’s instructions! And the whole life, in the future, comes down to following someone’s instructions. First, we obey our parents, then teachers, coaches, teachers, politicians, and so on. We ignore our fear and horror, fulfilling someone else’s whim, someone else’s instructions, no matter scary, painful, bad, difficult! We burn with shame, embarrassment, awkwardness and excitement, we crawl with gritting teeth, but we follow these same instructions! As a result, we then feel broken, lost and empty! We, as a rule, are ruthless and very cruel to ourselves in this place! But, as it turns out, there is still a completely different way of contact and interaction with ourselves and with the world. Carefully, with love, care and attention to everything that I feel, that is with me happening! When we are attentive to ourselves, we discover our strengths and weaknesses, our limitations, our vulnerabilities and learn to deal with them! We learn to support ourselves, and not a kick in the s...! We learn to notice when habitual kicking of ourselves appears, violence against ourselves, with our body takes over, we try to slow down, carefully take ourselves by the hand, and stop. You can ask yourself, “How are you now? How is my body, what do I feel?” This is certainly not a quick process, it is important to give yourself time! And often with the advent of self-care, the desire to reshape or change ourselves often disappears, to make ourselves the way they want us to be, to make ourselves what we are not! In Gestalt therapy, this is called the theory of paradoxical changes and it sounds something like this “ change occurs when a person becomes who he really is, not when he tries to become what he is not. !I really like the example of a caring and attitude towards oneself, using the example of a small child. Imagine yourself as a little child, look at him, and what feelings arise in you, what do you want at this moment for him! It’s unlikely that you want to change it, change it, rather there is a lot of tenderness, warmth and Care here. Write your comments and reactions! I would be grateful for responses and feedback!