From the author: It seems that people often find it difficult to get along with each other. Quarrels arise between families, neighbors feud, countries go to war. Should it be this way? Anthropologists, sociologists, psychologists and others say: “Yes, this is how it should be.” Considering the long history of man, full of hostility and strife, they argue that man has animal instincts, that he is antisocial and cruel by nature. In reality, man is quite peaceful. However, both individuals and entire groups can be driven to hatred and violence. Peace and harmony among people can become a reality, not just a dream. The ability to help others overcome differences and restore peaceful relationships helps create this reality. Violence and conflict between individuals and nations have existed since time immemorial, but their causes have remained a mystery. Chaldea disappeared from the face of the Earth. Babylon crumbled to dust. Egypt turned into a barren desert. Sicily, once home to 160 prosperous cities, was sacked and destroyed before the beginning of our era. Russia has turned into a bunch of disparate states today. And all this despite all the work and wisdom, good wishes and aspirations of people! Just as darkness follows the sunset, it follows from these facts that there is something unknown to man, something that concerns his life. And this something is so deadly and pervasive that it destroys all a person's aspirations and all his chances of success long before they could be realized. Such something must be some kind of natural law, which a person is not even aware of. Indeed, such a law exists. It meets these conditions: it is deadly, unknown, and extends to all human activities. Here is this law: In order for a conflict to exist, there must be an unknown third party present in any quarrel. Or: For a quarrel to occur, an unknown third party must actively incite it between two potential adversaries. Or: Although the generally accepted belief is that it takes two to fight, in reality there must be a third party who brings the matter to the actual conflict. It is very easy to see two people taking part in a conflict fighting. They are clearly visible. It is more difficult to notice or suspect that there was a third party actively instigating the quarrel. The usually unsuspecting “reasonable” third party—an outside observer who denies any involvement in the quarrel—is the one who caused the conflict to begin with. The hidden third party, which at times seems to support only one of the opponents, is the real instigator of the conflict. This law applies to many areas of life. It is the third party that causes the war. A person sees how two people shout insults in each other’s faces, sees how it comes to assault. There is no one else. This means that they themselves were the cause of the fight. However, there was still a third party. By tracing the conflict back to its origins, we discover something incredible. That's the problem. The incredible is too easily dismissed. One way to hide something is to make it incredible. Clerk A and courier B are arguing. They are already openly attacking each other. One blames the other. Neither of them is right, so the quarrel does not stop, since its true cause has not been established. A careful examination of this case reveals the incredible. Clerk A's wife sleeps with courier B and complains to each of them about the other. Farmer D and herder K have been tearing each other apart for years in continuous conflict. There are obvious, logical reasons for arguing. However, it continues and the problem is not solved. Upon closer examination, banker L is discovered who gives loans to both to cover the costs of the conflict and at the same time supports the quarrel. He will get all their lands if both sides toleratedefeat. This also happens on a larger scale. In 1917, the revolutionary forces and the Russian government were in conflict. There were so many reasons for this that they easily attract attention. But it was only after official government documents were seized in Germany during World War II that it was revealed that it was Germany that contributed to the rebellion in Russia, financed Lenin’s incendiary work, and even sent him to Russia in a closed carriage. Considering "personal" quarrels, conflicts between groups, battles between nations, a person will find, if he looks, a third party that remains above suspicion for both fighting sides. And if suspicions arose, they were dismissed as fantastic. However, careful documentation ultimately confirms the existence of a third party. This truth is extremely useful. When resolving marital conflicts, the correct approach is for both spouses to engage in a thorough search for a third party. They may initially find many reasons for the conflict. However, these reasons are not living beings (not people). You need to look for a third party, that is, an ordinary, living person. When both conflicting parties find a third party and discover evidence, the quarrel will end. Sometimes two quarrels unexpectedly decide to choose a third as the object of accusations. This stops the quarrel. Sometimes this person is not really a third party, and then there will be even more quarrels in the future. The two nations, "at each other's throats," must seek to negotiate with each other in order to carefully analyze the facts and discover a true third party. They will always find it if they look for it. They can find who really is the third party in the conflict, because the third party really exists. Apparently, many methodological approaches to this issue can be developed and described. There are many strange features associated with this. With a correctly detected third party, neither of the warring parties usually fights. The third party is simply avoided. Marital conflicts are common. Marriages can be saved if both parties really look at the facts and find the person who was causing the conflict. Over the entire period of married life, there may be several third parties, but only one is active at any given moment. Quarrels between an individual and an organization are almost always caused by a third party—a third person or a third group. Representatives of the organization must meet with the individual and find out the third party, revealing to each other all the data that someone provided to each of the parties. Both the rebels and the government can be brought to an agreement if representatives of both sides tell each other exactly what they were told and who spoke. Such meetings were usually limited only to mutual accusations, imposition of conditions or abuses. To be successful, parties must only talk about people. One might think that the theory in question denies the existence of unfavorable circumstances that lead to conflict. Such circumstances exist. However, they can usually be eliminated by discussing the situation, provided that the third party does not contribute to the continuation of the conflict. In historical studies, a negative opinion is expressed about the past because it is known from the mutual accusations of the two warring parties and a third party has not been discovered. The "reasons underlying" the war should be read as "hidden instigators." There are no conflicts that cannot be resolved unless the real instigators remain in the shadows. This is a natural law that people in ancient times and our contemporaries did not know about. Because of such ignorance, entire civilizations perished, falling into speculation about the imaginary causes of what was happening. This law is worth knowing. They should.