Finally, I got to last year's promises about dads. In this article I will tell you how the relationship of a father with his daughters is affected. It is generally accepted in family psychology: a mother gives life, and a father gives the strength to live. I have already written that relationships with dad determine our ability to build personal boundaries, defend our opinions, and achieve our goals. This is the very minimum that you have safely secured from interaction with a real father figure in your life. Let me emphasize, real. And not ideal. But this does not always happen... And if we do not do the above in our lives 🔼, we begin to create “cinema” according to specifically conceived female scenarios. As a rule, destructive. From which it is very difficult to jump out. And life begins to resemble “Groundhog Day.” The life scenario in a relationship consists of several components: social stereotypes of society for a given culture; maternal model of relationships with her husband and other men; your own experience of relationships with the opposite sex; personal experience of building a relationship with a father. Below are the most common female scenarios in personal practice, when the real father figure in a girl’s life is distorted: 1. "Sleeping Beauty". Characterized by excessive closeness with dad, even to the point of merging. This often happens due to a loss of closeness between parents. The father switches to his daughter with his encouragements, praising the girl above the mother. The girl has a feeling of Victory over her mother (I am better than you.) And at the same time, a background feeling of guilt in front of her. Because of such an emotional cascade, as a rule, difficulties arise with one’s own feminine part.2. “Princess”, or “captured”, or “in the castle”. Such women marry in order to be freed. The family hierarchy is broken here. More often than not, mom is perceived as higher than dad. The family constantly expresses neglect, aggression or disrespect towards him. In the eyes of women of his kind, he is somehow unworthy. There is no contact interaction with dad. It is for this reason that it is difficult for such girls to build relationships with men according to the “equal-to-equal” principle. Relationships are often built according to the manipulative type.3. "Cinderella". When a girl does not feel in her place in the family. Fear of exclusion from the family. This happens when the relationship with dad is formal. And the mother is the authoritative figure in the family, or generally the stepmother. And the girl has to win love by her eternal readiness to help and save others. In such scenarios, women push their needs and desires to the background. They may suffer from low self-esteem, an excellent student complex, and have difficulty taking initiative. 4. "Heroic woman." When a girl's dad is absent. Because of constant busyness or because of alcohol, depression, etc. But at the same time, there is intimacy in relationships when meetings do happen. Therefore, the sense of self-worth remains intact. But due to the rare interaction with the father, doubts about oneself may be present. Often a belief is formed: only through the ability to achieve relationships can one earn value for oneself.5. “Bewitched” No value, no personal boundaries. Those cases when dad wanted a boy, or identifies his daughter with his wife. And I have a bad relationship with the latter. In such scenarios, guilt often shines through. Because of the desire to separate from the rejecting father, or the entire family system. A woman blames herself all the time, no matter what she does. In such a scenario, there may be self-destructive behavior, a subconscious desire for bad treatment of oneself, especially from those with whom one becomes close. He easily starts relationships and just as easily breaks them off. It is important to find a way out of repeating cycles in relationships. But for this you will have to go through the path of transforming yourself. And in this I can be useful to you. Sincerely, psychologist Anna Kurdyukova.