A client (Katya) approached with the problem of her inability to defend personal boundaries: she was prompted to apply by the latest acute situation, which, however, is often repeated at work - her partner shifted her work to her, cleverly using her ability to persuade (attracting and management) and went on a short vacation. Katya, the younger sister of a caring brother, accustomed to receiving support simply by pressing for pity, is crying in my office and in every possible way arousing my pity for herself. We worked with boundaries, talked about her habit of expecting help “on her own”, without asking for it, reacted in the “hot seat” with aggression towards her partner, etc. In general, he cooperates willingly, without resistance, even somewhat intrusively, servilely. We agreed on the next meeting. I’m waiting. He's late. I called: she’s on her way, but I need to go see my husband and then she’s coming to me! OK. 45 minutes have passed since the start of the appointed time. He calls and says: I won’t come. Doesn't give reasons. To put it mildly, I am perplexed. I tell her: “Katya, I don’t know what to think... You strangely canceled our meeting and don’t give a reason for not coming.” This is usually due to resistance. Do you remember I told you that this might happen? Last time you came to me for the usual dose of pity, and instead I returned responsibility to you, and we discussed it. I warned you that it might be more difficult for you to come to the next meeting. Do you agree? K.: No, everything is different. Me: Okay. But we have a rule: if the client cancels a meeting without warning and without a good reason, then he pays for it in full. K.: I didn’t know about that. Me: Ignorance of the law, however, does not exempt from liability. If you want to continue working with me, then you will have to pay for this meeting. K.: I’ll think about it. He hangs up. An hour passes. I write her an SMS message: Me: Katya! We must definitely meet again and you must pay for the meeting that was not held due to your fault! This is necessary to develop your responsibility! That's your problem, I told you. I'm waiting for 1500r. and you! K. responds with an SMS: Denis! I will not continue consultations! I don't consider it a duty, because... He didn’t tell me anything about this at the first consultation. Me: I wasted my time. You did not warn about canceling the meeting, there is no good reason. I value my time, but you have a problem with responsibility! 1500 rub. - this is a meager payment for violating my boundaries with your weakness! From now on you will take people and yourself more seriously! I'm waiting for the money! In a day. I’m writing her an SMS. Me: There is another option - we’ll meet there today at 16:30 - ready? K.: Denis! With the extortion of money, trust went away, both in the person and in the psychologist. Me: Understand that I am helping you with your request! And today’s meeting can once and for all solve your problem - the inability to defend your boundaries! Come! Keep this money for yourself! Ok? Silence. Me: Do you know that I am a provocative psychologist?:) K.: Denis, no! Not all clients are suitable for “tearing a button off a shirt” (emoticon - a winking and smiling face). Me: Coward! (emoticon - smile). K.: (emoticon - smile) The next day. I’m writing an SMS. Me: Now you have to kick your partner in the ass! You should succeed! K.: Sent (emoticon - horror). In the evening. I’m texting her. Me: Didn’t you die of fear? (emoticon - smile) K.: My partner is shocked. Today I left work on time for the first time! to be continued...