Recently I was talking with my dear aunt and she asked me: “Why don’t you write about yourself in your articles? Why don’t you write about what you experienced in your life?” I thought about it and decided to tell you about one incident from my life that greatly influenced it. So, I was 14 years old. The final exams were already underway (the ninth grade was ending), I managed to pass the exam in mathematics. It was June 6th - Pushkin’s birthday, he would have turned 200 years old, and the whole country celebrated this date very actively. My mother and I went shopping in the morning, having fun. But when we returned home, we were informed that my dad was no longer there. It was an accident. He died immediately. If you have ever experienced the loss of a loved one, you will understand. You will understand those feelings, emotions that overtook me and did not let go for a very long time. I graduated from school, college, many years passed, and dad was there all the time, I could not let him go. She grew up, became strong, studied to become a psychologist, and dad was still there. I understood and felt that I couldn’t live like this any longer, and gradually came to the point of working on this topic with my psychotherapist. We beat around the bush for a long time, I talked to dad, asked him to let me go, etc. And I, for some time, would not have been able to solve this problem within myself if I had not realized that I was holding it myself. I can learn to treat this simply as a fact that happened over 10 years ago. “Time heals,” but not everything. And everything is only in my hands! With my article I want to appeal to all those who have experienced the loss of a loved one. And it doesn’t matter how it happened - illness, accident, disaster. The important thing is that you stayed alive and for some reason God, the Universe, your loved ones, and you, finally, need it. Surely you are tormented by the question - why? No one can give you the answer to this question except you. All in your hands. Only you can answer the questions: “Why?”; “How to live with this further?”; “And is it possible to live fully after THIS?” I can only answer about my life. I know for sure that it is possible, it is worth it, and I will live and do it the way my dad would want, because that’s what I want. I've already lost a lot of time and energy. And I know that thanks to this tragedy I have become stronger, wiser. I now have invaluable experience, and I know what death is and I know that it is not worth fighting with it, that it is not worth arguing with life. You just need to live YOUR life in such a way that there is something to remember in old age for my loved ones after I’m gone. I know that my life is as valuable as the life of any person and without it many events in the lives of other people would not happen. I know that life goes on and that’s why it’s beautiful! Author Khachaturova Maria