If the feelings of a loved one are clear to you, is it always worth sharing them with them, taking them on yourself? Or can you understand what another feels without experiencing the same? In the first part of the article, I wrote about the concept, reasons and ways of getting out of borrowed feelings. Here I will describe the story of a girl who managed to discern and separate herself from NOT herself. There are many such stories, one of them, perhaps, is happening to you now. “How can I trust men in principle, him specifically, if even the closest man betrayed me?” Before the next phrase, she has to take a lot of air, hold it for a long time - how - as if she was afraid to exhale. And after a new breath, she finally decided. “My dad was the best in the world.” He was the epitome of the ideal man. He made me always feel like the best when I was with him. He loved me so much that I could not doubt my own strengths, attractiveness, that I was good. He was a good family man. I remember flowers for my mother so often. Take a walk with her, gifts. They almost never fought. Dad somehow managed to smooth things over. He had an accident. So suddenly. It was so scary. And then, while sorting out the documents, my mother and I discovered that he had a woman before us. And there might have been a child there. And he looked for them. It was such a strong blow to my mother. She became withdrawn. It was as if she was angry. She couldn't even really mourn him. She was so angry. She didn't show it. But I understood what was happening. It was a betrayal. We lived in a complete feeling of happiness. Everything was amazing. And then it turns out that he was looking for, he didn’t tell us anything. How is this possible? It turns out that everything that happened was a fiction, he was pretending? - I understood about my mother and what he went through. What happened to you when you found out? - I don’t even remember. I didn’t really react to this at all. I felt terribly sorry for my mother. Then I realized that I was being consumed by jealousy or something. It turns out I wasn't the only one. He could also love someone else very much. And it turns out that I wouldn’t be needed.” “But you have a younger brother.” Were you jealous of him too? - No. Dad somehow could love us equally. We both had a good time. I never thought that my dad could love him more. Or that I won’t be needed. — Did this situation arise? — Yes. It was as if he wanted to exchange me. Strange. After all, dad really was the kind of person who knew how to give love to everyone. - But you were offended for mom. - Yes. For her, this was definitely a betrayal. - Hypothetical... - Well, he was looking. Why?—He was looking for his child, he wanted to love him. Just like you two. - And mom? What about mom's betrayal? After all, he betrayed our entire family, it turns out. - Betrayed? Or did your family decide so? - Yes, I... he didn’t betray. But it seemed to us that he wanted to. - For whom - for us? - For me, mom... that’s what mom decided. She wasn’t even grieving, she was angry with him. “Was it easier for her?” Not to grieve - to be angry? - Yes. Before that, she couldn’t come to her senses at all. And then it snapped. “You accepted your mother’s decision as your own.” And now you don’t know how to trust men? Did someone betray you? - No. He loved me. I was the best for him. I love him so much, I miss him so much. The opportunity to see and feel her own feelings for a girl became the first key to accepting herself. On this difficult path, you will definitely encounter a latent desire to replace your life with someone else’s - after all, it’s easier to make other people’s decisions than your own; it’s easier to justify other people’s feelings than to give yourself a chance to feel your own; It’s easier to agree with other people’s assessments than to be convinced that only my own can be correct for me. But the ability to hear, feel and accept yourself in the end, to allow yourself to be who you are is the basis of the inner harmony that we all strive for we strive.