From the author: An article for those who are faced with the loss of a loved one. The topic of death is actively crowded out of life, and we begin to think about it seriously only when we encounter it personally. For example, when a loved one dies. I immediately remember the stages of grief according to Kübler-Ross: 1. Denial (this cannot be, there is some kind of mistake here); 2. Anger (at doctors, at oneself, at fate, at authorities, etc.);3. Bargaining (making a deal with fate, with the Higher Powers); 4. Depression (bargaining did not help, awareness of powerlessness, inability to change anything);5. Acceptance (awareness of what happened, inclusion of the event in current life). Why is it so bitter, so painful when a loved one leaves? The person is close, which means you have emotional contact with him, communicate. When he passes away from life (from his and from yours), contact with him is cut off. In the case when you know that he will leave, then you have time to prepare to comprehend this loss. If he leaves quickly, abruptly, then contact with him ends abruptly and even more painfully. When a loved one dies, your bilateral contact with your loved one is interrupted. You gave something to your loved one. They showed something to him, expressed it, said it, felt it. What is this? Now there is no way to give it to him. It is very important to understand what it is. You received something from a loved one. You received what he showed towards you. I shared something, I gave something spiritual to you, but now I don’t. It is important to understand what exactly you received in contact with him. Another very important experience during the death of a loved one is a confrontation with the unknown. What awaits him there? Where is he now? Is there anything at all after death or not? These questions can also arise in connection with the loss of a loved one. Irvin Yalom believes that grief for the deceased is actually a veiled grief for oneself. After all, a loved one is leaving YOUR life. And it will no longer be in YOUR life. From this series - “who did you leave us with?!” It is important to live this period of grief completely - cry, write a letter to the deceased in which you didn’t have time to say something, find support from other people. You can complete this process in different ways, and the criterion of completion will be your inner feeling. It is then that you will feel the acceptance that I wrote about above in paragraph 5. But this takes time. Suppressing experiences with medications, work, avoiding feelings and talking about it is fraught with various symptoms - psychosomatic disorders, obsessions (thoughts, feelings, dreams) and many other manifestations of repressed grief. It is surprising that repressed, unexperienced grief can be stored in the unconscious for years! If you feel that it is difficult for you to cope with the experience of loss, then this is a reason to contact a psychologist who works with such requests and will help you come to acceptance and understanding of your loss.