The third article on the topic Forbidden Parental Messages, category - Attachment. This category includes messages such as: Don't be close Don't feel affection and love Don't belong Don't be a child Every person has a little boy or little girl inside a girl who feels, thinks, acts, speaks and responds exactly as he or she did as a child of a certain age. This state of the Self is called the Child Self. E. Bern Few things bring people to a psychotherapist as often as difficulties with relationships, be it their absence or opposition within the relationship. Many of us are trained in only two skills when dealing with relationship stress: attack or avoid. This means that we can either "win" the conflict or "run away from it." Because if our attachment needs have not been met, we lack a good role model in what is actually a warm relationship. Instead of viewing our need to be dependent as something healthy, we often try to stifle it, fearing that it represents weakness rather than opportunity. Any adaptive behavior helps us prevent manifestations of our vulnerability. Unfortunately, in the absence of vulnerability, there are too few opportunities for the exchange of warm relationships. How to heal? - The answer is always within you. “To heal in a relationship, I need to learn to have a healing influence on others, and not vice versa. Learn to give what we ourselves previously craved from others. I so need to learn to recognize that there are people who love you."Learn to live your life without acting out your own traumas on other people, thereby not hurting them. Giving warmth and love to others makes it possible to realize that intimacy is something pleasant and accessible, you just have to open your heart. In order for the healing process to be effective, it is necessary to recognize, see these prohibitive messages in yourself and accept them. This relieves tension and opens up the opportunity to see wider. Remember, if you received these orders in early childhood, you agreed with them then, this does not mean that they cannot be changed now. Everything is possible, it requires your will and desire. And if you feel that you can’t cope on your own, come for a consultation, I will be happy to help you. Sign up via the link ➔ Sign up Article on this topic: “Forbidden parental messages” - https://www.b17.ru/article/400866/ “Forbidden parental messages - Survival” - https://www.b17.ru/article/ 400930/ ______________________________________________________________Your psychologist, Larisa DegtyarPhone - +7(926) 782-13-57My telegram channel https://t.me/degtyar_psy