Frying pan Olga It can be very exhausting when ONE situation causes us a lot of emotions that rage in our head and body for more than one hour, or even a day. This is a colossal waste of resources, the mood deteriorates, there is noticeably less energy for other things than usual... It seems there is no end to this, the situation does not leave the head, the emotion “does not let go.” But there is no end here, because... our reactions are caught in a ring along which our perception and thinking moves. And the ring has no end. Anyone who has read Isaac Asimov remembers.) Figuratively speaking, what happens here is the effect of a tornado or a tunnel, a very “narrow” view of the situation. What happens to us when the situation affects us like that? Let’s divide it all into its components. The situation itself is definitely not for us like it, we feel dissatisfied. Our reasoning, thoughts lead us along one clear path to one belief: - This should not be / wrong / unfair. We do not see anything else, constantly reasoning in our heads in ONE way, proving our rightness and the wrongness of others or the incorrectness of the event. And we again go into emotions, indignant that IT did happen, yes, HOW so?! Why does this happen? Most likely, this reaction of ours comes from childhood, when we were small and weak. Then, if we need to - we didn’t like it when we realized that our parents were “going too far” or outright lying, but often we couldn’t DO anything. And for various reasons, the parents could not admit that they were wrong, or maybe vice versa - they blamed us or punished us. All we had to do was hide in a corner and be offended, that is, waste the energy of the emotion of dissatisfaction WITHIN ourselves - on worries. Figuratively speaking, “chewing” the situation over and over again, like poorly prepared food. ) Yes, sometimes we just eat something, and at the same time we want to chew on something. But thoughts still run in circles and excite us, causing excitement in the body and the release of new energy, which again needs to be put somewhere. The psyche does not understand that “bad” HAS ALREADY HAPPENED, and now only our thoughts return us to that situation, event. The body obediently prepares for the fight, but the fight is impossible, because... there are no necessary resources for it, other than energy. What to do? In a calm state, we can quickly come to accept the situation as something that happened, albeit unpleasant. Recognize your beliefs only as your own, and not as universal ones. Your emotions too - only your own, and not changing the situation. And direct your energy into the future. But the storm of emotions is difficult to take and stop, to take and abandon your “righteous anger”, which gives a feeling of superiority and goodness. Three steps need to be taken: Of course, the first is for us to realize that we are running in circles. The second task is to distract and occupy thoughts, to switch to a topic that is no less important for us. The third is to put this strong energy somewhere wisely. Masters of psychological aikido advise engaging in energy-consuming activities - washing something, scraping, knocking, knocking together or break, i.e. act energetically and firmly. Meditation masters - focus on one thing. For example, one thought - it shouldn’t be like this. And let it “fly” around you or jump, glide out the window and fly into the sky. Or on one emotion - let it acquire color, shape, image, sound, smell, etc. Masters of logic and relationships - come up with educational measures for the violator of our peace of mind. For example, brainstorm what I will do in response to this outrageous behavior. And write down ALL the ideas that come to mind, even the strangest and harshest. And only after the flow of ideas has ended, you can analyze them and think about their implementation. In the process of thinking, the psyche will be distracted, and we will calm down and become more peaceful. )Often we have already intuitively done something like this, and we know what works better FOR US. Unfortunately, there is no universal “pill”. You need to make tests and choices yourself. Write what methods you tried and what results you achieved? Olga Frying Pan