Spoiler title Expanding spoiler text If divorce is inevitable, how to react in order to alleviate your condition as much as possible during this difficult period of life? Divorce is not just an unpleasant moment, but a very energy-intensive process. On the one hand, there are strong ambivalent feelings for your partner. You can simultaneously feel gratitude for past pleasant moments, for children, and anger and resentment for unfulfilled hopes and pain caused. On the other hand, you need to go through the division of property, resolving issues of custody of common children. To do this, you need to be capable of reasonable negotiations, but strong emotions interfere with a realistic assessment of the situation and balanced decision-making. Also, strength, energy and intelligence will be needed later in order to adapt to the new status and establish the life of a new single-parent family. Where can I get the resource? You can reduce energy costs by choosing the most appropriate type of behavior for the situation. There are different types of responses to the process of ending a relationship. Here are the main ones: 1. Militant-hating. Behavior with this type is extremely unconstructive: from involving children, friends, and relatives in negotiations in order to prove that the departed spouse is wrong, to attempts to disseminate information discrediting the former partner at work. In this case, the goal is to return the departed spouse, but there is no respect for either oneself or the other.2. Return of love. Attempts to improve relationships in order to retain a partner. The spouse restrains negative feelings and tries to be friendly. If the initiator of the divorce has not yet made a final decision, this type of response can be effective if you talk about your true feelings and experiences from the separation, say what you are grateful for and what was valuable in the relationship, how painful it is to lose it, admit your part of the blame for what is happening and ask for forgiveness, express readiness to renew relations.3. Acceptance of reality. Wait until your partner makes your decision, do not demand an immediate answer. Take care of yourself, understand the current situation, draw conclusions. Then, if in the end both agree to divorce, there will be an opportunity to maintain normal relationships, minimize the consequences for children, look at divorce as part of your life, and not deny or devalue the good moments of life together. The third type of reaction is the most difficult, but, having understood the benefits of such behavior, motivation appears to learn to accept reality. If you are in the process of divorce and find it difficult to cope with difficult emotions on your own, I invite you to a consultation. Online and in person in Nizhny Novgorod.