Anyone can get into an addictive relationship. But the only ones who get stuck in them for years are those who expect changes from their partner or even try to change him, instead of understanding themselves. This position - seeing the problem of your suffering in your partner and waiting for him to change - is what is called the role of the Victim. 🚫Being in the role of a Victim is: ▶️Suffering and feeling sorry for yourself ▶️Not changing anything significantly in your life ▶️Complaining about your partner or your unfortunate fate ▶️Feeling helpless and weak ▶️Waiting for someone to help, advise, make a decision ▶️Being offended that I’m being poorly taken care of. We can all feel this way sometimes ☝️. But some people like this role so much that they choose it as a lifestyle. It is clear that they are not very conscious, but nevertheless they choose. If you are in the role of a Victim, then you will only be able to communicate with those who are in the role of a Rescuer or in the role of a Tyrant; others will not be interested in communicating with you. But no matter how well they “rescue” you, happiness will still not come, because there will always be a reason to suffer and suffer. After all, this is the meaning of the role of the Victim. After all, if you stop tormenting and suffering, then they will stop pitying and saving! The role of the Victim is a reliable way to get stuck in an addictive relationship, and indeed in any addiction. And yet, more often than not, dependent relationships fall into the habitual role of the Rescuer. The Rescuer also sees the problem of his life in his partner, and not in himself. But the fact is that he does not know how to live his life and enjoy it. The joy of a Rescuer is to solve other people's problems. By doing this, the Rescuer feels needed and valuable. Sometimes the Rescuer wakes up in a codependent relationship, next to an alcoholic or drug addict. Sometimes Rescuers "accidentally" marry men with addictions or other problems. The Rescuer gets stuck in dependent relationships for a simple reason: the Rescuer thinks that his partner really needs him. He takes care of him, forgetting about himself.👉👉👉 Spends time, money, energy on him. At the same time, he does not see that he himself is much more dependent on the partner he is saving. ☑️He considers himself strong and important, but in fact he is terribly afraid that his partner will no longer need him. Therefore, the Rescuer needs his partner to remain weak and needy (that is, remain a Victim) and then he is completely his. ☑️ “Saving” others, the Rescuer does not notice the problems that exist in his life. Runs away from his own pain and loneliness.➡️If the way out of the role of the Victim is to recognize your strength and your ability to cope with problems, then the way out of the role of the Rescuer is to recognize your own dependence on approval, that this is a way to run away from yourself and, in the end, look honestly about himself and his life. The aggressor (Tyrant, Persecutor) also sees the problem exclusively in the partner. Everything is clear about Aggressor men who lash out at their wives. Women who remain in such relationships, feeling absolutely helpless to change anything, are a sad story. Everything becomes more interesting when in a dependent relationship the Aggressor is a woman. These are those women whose husbands are assholes, morons, dumbasses, etc. They tell everyone about it and the man himself, too (if they don’t tell the man, then it’s better). And it seems like - well, if he’s such an asshole next to you, why live with him? But in fact, the Aggressor needs someone nearby, on whom he can blame everything, shift responsibility and at the same time drain all the anger and tension. The Aggressor is actually very dependent on the Victim. Because if the Victim is not around, there is no one to blame and drain everything on, then the Aggressor will face himself, his feelings, his life and will have to do something about it. The essence of each role in this 🔽 is to shift responsibility to another and avoid confrontation with your own life and your feelings about this. This is what both the Victim and the Rescuer and the Aggressor do. Therefore, they cannot get out of the vicious circle. That is, the Dramatic Triangle. Getting out of the triangle is very