Why do people strive to control everything? First, I propose to consider the reasons for the desire to control everything: 1. Coping with Anxiety People try to control everything in order to better manage their anxiety. They believe that if they have everything under control, then there is nothing to worry about. Instead of working on anxiety, they try to control their environment and what is happening around them. 2. Inability to Trust Another reason people try to control everything is because they don't trust other people. Instead of delegating tasks, they prefer to do it themselves to make sure everything gets done right. It is also difficult for such people to ask for help. 3. Personality We decide what is under our control and what is not, depending on our belief system. In psychology, there is an external (external) and internal (internal) locus of control. People with an external locus of control place responsibility and the results of their activities on external forces, such as fate, luck, people around them, a partner, friends, colleagues. People with an internal locus of control believe that their lives depend on how much effort they put in. They take full responsibility for their successes and failures in life and believe that they have control over everything in their lives, from being in control of their finances to being in control of their health. For example, a person shows up for an interview and is rejected despite having the right qualifications and experience for the position, if he has an external locus of control, he will think that perhaps someone else more qualified has applied for the job or that the interviewer has disliked his. If a person has an internal locus of control, he will think that perhaps he failed to make a good impression on the interviewer, or that he should have reworked his resume. What problems does the desire to control everything create? Increased anxiety It is impossible to control everything and maintain this control. You are set up to fail from time to time, and the more you try to control the situation, the more anxious you become. Waste of Time and Energy You spend so much time and energy worrying about things that are out of your control, or wishing that circumstances were different, or trying to convince people that they need to change or do things differently. . Harm to Relationships Telling people what they should do or how to do it is not exactly an attractive trait. This will most likely drive people away from you. You start to blame yourself for everything. If you think that everything is under your control, you believe that you are responsible for everything that does not go according to your plan. And blaming yourself for everything that happens is healthy for you. How can you help yourself stop trying to control everything? No. 1. Develop a Balanced Sense of Control Start paying attention to your control beliefs. Think about times when you gave too much energy and time to people and circumstances that were beyond your control. Then remind yourself that there is a lot you can't control: You can invite someone to watch a movie, but you can influence whether they like it or not. You can do your best at work, but you can't get your boss to appreciate it. your job. You can take care of yourself so much, but you can't avoid illness. #2: Identify your fears When you find yourself spending a lot of time and energy trying to control someone or a situation, ask yourself what you're so afraid of. Are you worried that something might go wrong? Or that a person can make bad choices? Acknowledging your fears will help you understand them better and change your perception of what you can and cannot control.#3. Focus on What You Can Control Once you have identified your fears,.