Recently people are turning to psychological help more and more often. This is good news, because it means that people are increasingly aware of the responsibility for their lives and therefore strive to change it for the better. People increasingly refuse to be victims of circumstances, difficult childhoods, traumas, and decide to build their lives the way they want. Often such changes cannot be made without professional support, because none of us would think of fixing the plumbing ourselves, unless we are plumbers. But despite the increasing psychological culture of society, people come to a psychologist with different motives - and not everyone actually wants help. So, the reasons for contacting a psychologist: 1. “GIVE ME A PILL/PRECISION FOR...” Celibacy, disobedience to children, bad relationship with a guy, poor lover, and so on. Wanting specific advice and instructions, people somewhat idealize psychologists, considering them almost gods who know universal answers to all questions and are able to change someone else’s life in one consultation. The most unpleasant thing happens when these hopes collide with reality - the psychologist is not ideal, he does not have universal advice and answers. And most importantly, in order for changes to occur, you need to work, and such people are not ready for difficulties and work. And they destroy the pedestal on which they themselves raised the specialist. The result of working with such a client is typical - the person is disappointed. The psychologist, in his opinion, is not professional and in general “these psychologists are a complete scam for money and are of no use!” 2. “HELP MAKE SOMEONE DO SOMETHING” Some people come with the desire to change someone around them, for example, make their husband earn a lot of money. They sincerely hope to correct everyone except themselves - they are hindered by a boorish colleague, a tyrant boss, a hysterical sister, a despot mother, a loser husband, and generally keep quiet about their children. The main question of such people is how to teach/explain/influence others. Something is not going well in the relationship, but they sincerely believe that it is the fault and responsibility of those around them, and everything will be fine if those around them change. In working with such clients, a discovery is often made - that in these very relationships (which do not suit them) they also contribute! You cannot change people against their will, but you can change relationships with these people. Result of work: depends on the client’s ability to realize and accept his part of responsibility for the relationship. If this becomes possible, the prognosis can be very favorable. If it is not yet possible to accept one’s responsibility, then the person does not stay in therapy, but leaves - “and even the psychologist I came across was somewhat inexperienced, well, what does it have to do with me. I explained that the whole problem is with the husband.” 3. “NO ONE WILL HELP ME!” Such people periodically come to a psychologist in order to once again see how everything in their life is so bad and hopeless that no one can help! When you try to return to reality and realize that everything can be solved as long as you are, in fact, alive and in good health, they say: “I haven’t told you everything yet! I just don’t want to traumatize you.” These people don't really want or need any help. They like to be miserable, receive sympathy, and bear the burden of being a martyr all their lives. The result of the work: often such people do not stay in therapy for long, they go into their unhappy lives, performing more and more heroic deeds. 4. “MY FRIEND NEEDS A PSYCHOLOGIST, PLEASE MAKE HER AN APPOINTMENT FOR WEDNESDAY” People who are “sent” to a psychologist. Firstly, such clients are angry with those who sent, and, accordingly, with the one to whom they sent. Well, imagine: you live, enjoy life, everything is fine with you, and then suddenly your enlightened friend declares: “Marinka, you need to go to a psychologist, you’re kind of tense all over.” So you won’t find a normal man and you won’t get married, but you’re already approaching 30! - Come on! “Everything is fine with me, you can come up with the same thing,” you say offendedly. But then my friend is simply dumbfounded: “Nothing.”)