Recently I realized that all my life I had been choosing others over myself. Sadness, annoyance, disappointment from the fact that I was not appreciated either in the family or at work was covering me more and more. When my husband came home from work in a bad mood because of problems with management, but what’s more, not only from work, if he was simply not in the mood because of any minor troubles that he had created for himself, then I thought that I should definitely raise his fighting spirit. I immediately forgot about myself and adapted to his needs, anticipating them in advance, so as not to prevent him from resting and enjoying life. I tried to please his relatives when they unexpectedly came to visit to be a hospitable person. Over time, I began to communicate more often with my husband’s relatives than with him. He didn't want to listen to his mom's whining, and he didn't. I had to solve her problems, listen to her complaints about life and support her. No one canceled my relatives either. I remember how my mother asked me to take her to the doctors, because... “She herself cannot bear long trips and does not like to take a taxi.” I then had toxicosis in the first months of pregnancy, but it never occurred to me to refuse her. I felt terrible about it, and when I arrived home I was hysterical. Then I didn’t understand the reasons for it. Now I realized that I was suppressing my desires and feelings and my body began to malfunction. The situation only worsened with the birth of the child. Now I also had to be a good mother. As a result, a year later I started going to doctors because of health problems. My health was the only socially approved reason for me to pay attention to myself. After numerous examinations, I was sent to psychotherapy with diagnosis of neurosis. Thus began my new life, where my task was to put myself in the center of the circle, to find out who I am and learn to live with new strategies was not easy, especially since those around me were accustomed to perceiving me in the role of the “Universal Mother” who would solve problems and will support as needed. In this story I described a collective image of my clients, these are both women and men who come to therapy in search of their lives. Are you familiar with similar problems? Do you often join others, forgetting about yourself? Sign up for online consultations and face-to-face work in Novosibirsk on WhatsApp 89529236126.