In a dependent family, children learn to save from an early age. Their life is highly dependent on an unreliable parent, so this behavior is quite natural. But this trend continues into adulthood. And also the illusion that the addict will definitely change and that as soon as he stops drinking, life will get better. But the reality is that the longer a loved one saves the addict, the deeper the hole into which he falls. The disease is increasingly taking hold of the individual, and one day it will simply be impossible to get out of this hole. The most difficult thing for codependents is to withstand their own powerlessness, despair and humility if a loved one has chosen a path that does not suit us. And speaking of addicts, in fact, the only way to help is to let go. In an addict, it is important to see and distinguish between two parts: this is the person whom he may barely remember and the disease that seizes, destroys and destroys its carrier, so does everyone around. There is no point in conversations, exhortations, appeals to conscience. The disease must be made visible and any manipulation of it must be stopped. This means, do not cover up the addict in front of relatives and colleagues, do not participate in neutralizing the consequences of use, do not give money for the substance, do not let the user into your territory. You need to let him go so that he can solve his problems himself, so that he can make his own choice and choose life or death. This will be a difficult stage for everyone. The addict will be ashamed and may be furious. Yes, and those around you will also feel embarrassed to take the problem outside the home. But if you live next to an addict, you are the only person in an unchanged state of consciousness who can make life more difficult for the disease. At the same time, it is important to inform the addict that there is help, that there are Alcoholics Anonymous groups, rehabilitation and psychologists, etc. And if he decides to seek help, then you will always support and be there. Specific and tough actions are required from a codependent. With sympathy, but with the awareness that in this case, leaving a person alone with the choice to live or die is the only effective help that he can provide. The dependent person is sure that the whole problem is dependent, but when the dependent person begins to recover, it is the codependent person who needs help, because he doesn’t know how to live without saving. A codependent, it seems, cannot live without merging, but in fact, he has been suffocating for a long time without separation. And here the “path to yourself” begins. You will have to take back your own life, learn to take responsibility for your life, and not for another, learn to see and realize your needs and desires, meet your deeply hidden complex feelings.