How do you feel when you feel lonely? Does this make you feel good or bad? Does this condition help you in life or does it only hinder you? Do you try to avoid it with all your might or do you strive for this experience as if it were your resource (anticipating it in advance with pleasure)? Alas, for many people loneliness is painted exclusively in gloomy tones. Such people either cannot bear this feeling at all, or bear it with such incredible difficulty that at the first opportunity they fill their lives with anything (alcohol, drugs, computer games, dead-end jobs or failed relationships) - just to escape from the awareness of their separateness from another. If you suddenly are also one of them and endure long-term solitude with the greatest internal tension, then you understand how difficult and scary it can be to be alone. And with all this, how dangerous it is to run away from this experience to “anywhere.” This certainly doesn’t make life any easier. Quite the contrary. So what to do then? Can you still endure unpleasant sensations or turn away from them into dangerous and bad habits? I believe that if loneliness for you (using the definition from a popular song) is a bastard (i.e. an extremely unpleasant experience), then you don’t need to do either of those things , nor anything else. It is much more useful to go to meet him halfway. It’s like with physical pain - if you steadfastly endure, for example, a broken leg or suppress the sensations from this injury with heavy doses of painkillers, nothing good will come of it. Rather, it’s the other way around. It is much more correct to pay attention to the pain, establish its causes, intervene, and only then (if the pain continues to be difficult to bear) swallow pills. The same thing applies to the feeling of loneliness. The more difficult it is to bear, the more tempting you are to get rid of it by filling your time with disorderly sex, food, alcohol or intense work, the more important it is not to do this, but, on the contrary, to try to face your experience, understand it, take into account what you find and change your life for the better .This, in turn, can be done through trial and error, or you can use the help of professionals. For example, individual consultations with the psychogods of the site b17.ru or the video course that we prepared with Svetlana Migacheva will work well for this task. In it you you will find answers to many questions regarding loneliness. Why do you bear it so hard, what are your methods of avoidance, what do they lead you to. And also - what to do next with all this if you want to live a harmonious and happy life. In general, a very useful course for any thinking person. I wish you good luck P.S. If you are interested in my thoughts on the psychology of men, subscribe to me (by clicking on the button below) and to my telegram channel “Dmitry Trefilov’s Men’s House” - https://t.me/manrise_psy