From the author: An article about our fears and the desperate struggle against them. Is everything as simple as it seems at first glance? Based on materials from the author’s blog “Your Psychologist” How do you feel about heights? In the literal sense of the word, without any subtext. What do you usually experience if you go out onto a balcony in the area of ​​the ninth or tenth floor? Or even higher. Climbing the fire escape or washing windows. To be honest, I'm afraid of heights. An incomprehensible dizziness begins, darkness before the eyes, suspicious wobbliness in the legs and the brain loses the clarity of thought. Nothing short of a real threat to life and limb can make me walk along the ledge or climb the television tower. And even more so if, for simple entertainment, you need to climb steep cliffs, skydive or ride a roller coaster. Don't even try to persuade me. You will waste your energy in vain, and the result will be zero. I don’t give a damn. There is, of course, a certain temptation to overcome my awe of the heights, but why? Was. I tried. Like, how can I work with people’s fears if I can’t cope with my own? Once, for reasons of developing fortitude, I went with my friends to the colonnade of St. Isaac's Cathedral. While the road in the tower was closed, the process proceeded normally. But when we began to climb the old, narrow, open metal staircase worn by time and thousands of human soles, I was dumbfounded. I grabbed the thin handrails and realized that I couldn’t walk. Neither forward nor backward. And persuasion will not succeed in moving me from my place. Just cut with a grinder. Remove with a crane. Along with the steps. I didn’t hear the admonitions of my companions and even lost track of time. Fear overshadowed everything! A large group of Italian tourists brought me back to reality. About fifteen to twenty people. Loud, expressive and unceremonious. It was not guilt, respect for the guests, or banal curiosity that worked. For some reason it occurred to me that they definitely wouldn’t wait for me or bypass me. And even more so cutting it with a circular saw. I was afraid that they would simply push the frozen girl down the steps. I'll crash to hell. And everything will be forgiven. Foreigners too. Currency. One horror was interrupted by another, bloodier one. Barely breathing, I slowly began to rise. Although everything was still swimming in my eyes. The Italians did not notice anything. The beauty of St. Petersburg from a bird's eye view did not distract me. What kind of panorama is there, what kind of relaxation is there if your head is pounding, your legs can’t walk well, and your palms are cold from the horror of what’s happening? There is only one dominant thought. Down, down, down! Otherwise I'll fall. It is unknown how, but to death. I hate myself for agreeing to this scam. Me too, experimenter! I want all this to stop. Right now. Otherwise I don’t know what I’ll do. I want to go to earth. I love hard ground. Anyone. I'm ready to kiss the asphalt. Let there be cigarette butts and dog poop. But it's safe there. It depends on you, but for me it’s clearly easier to look at the roofs of buildings from the bottom up. I'm not a bird, and that's okay. I will survive and be happy. Born to crawl, cannot fly. Genes don't allow it. But it won't break. This is the absolute truth. I descended more decisively. Although the fear did not go away. Didn't become familiar and less impressive. Vice versa. Desperation added to the speed. The fear is that I will freeze at the top again, and nothing will be able to bring me back. I'll die here, damn it. I will join the granite columns, decay to a skeleton, and my remains will be shown to curious tourists for a special fee. So I was in a hurry. Almost running. Almost with my eyes closed. In one breath. Forgetting about my companions and the money I spent. I calmed down only on earth. I didn’t immediately believe the luck. Hey, she touched the stone slabs of the cathedral’s foundation, went outside the fence, and sat down on a bench. That's it, I got there. Alive. No release of endorphins, euphoria, increase in self-confidence or basic pleasure from the act. Quite the contrary. Shame and tears. I started to scold myself. Like, stupid, clueless. Why did you rush where you weren’tshould? Damn, I wanted adventure on my ass! Why these tests of the body's strength? A complete mockery, nothing more. Moreover, I have had a fear of heights since early childhood. Everything is known and verified. Once again I was convinced of what was already obvious. And that's okay. I won't climb again. Not for any reason! Fighting your shortcomings is a worthy endeavor. But sometimes it is inappropriate. Sometimes it’s wiser to give up and take a workaround. In general, today I’m talking about phobias. Or rather, about isolated fears. This is when a person is afraid of one thing. Heights, blood, darkness, spiders, confined spaces, depth, water. Dirt, germs, disease, redness, speaking in front of an audience. Insects, bridges, cemeteries, books. And so on and so forth. There are a lot of them. For every taste, color and shape. In fact, you can be afraid of everything. And each such phobia has a tricky name. Some are genetic in nature and are associated with a threat to human life and integrity. Others are determined by social norms and morals. Sometimes fear manifests itself as a result of negative or painful experiences. These are so-called reactive fears. That's not even the point. The fact is that everyone has them! Yes, yes, yes! Everyone is afraid. With no exceptions. Children and old people. Men, women. Rescuers, military pilots, divers. If someone somewhere assures you of his absolute fearlessness, then rest assured that he is blatantly lying! Or he doesn't know what he's talking about. Or stupid as a plug. Moreover, the higher a person’s intellectual potential, the more likely it is that he is filled with phobias. Several years ago, the media reported information about miraculously saved children aged 11-12 years. They got lost in the winter forest and were outdoors for just over a day and a half. Including spending the night in a snowdrift. They were found by emergency workers. Apart from slight frostbite on the cheeks and nose, no damage. Fantastic? Maybe he was really lucky. But experts also noted the correct behavior of children. They were not afraid, were constantly on the move and used basic knowledge of life safety in practice. It is possible to freeze in a shorter period of time, but their calmness saved them. What's the catch, you ask. These were pupils of a boarding school for children with mental retardation. It was the slight intellectual deficiency of the children that allowed them not to panic and behave correctly. In order to survive until adult help arrives. They didn’t even think about “what will happen if they don’t find us.” But such thoughts are quite natural in such a situation. If there had been wise men and women in their place, everything could have turned out differently. It’s much more tragic. It’s true that grief comes from the mind, and happiness, sometimes, lies in madness. Think before you laugh at cowards. Maybe they have a more adequate reaction to the current circumstances? I repeat once again that the reasons for fears can be very diverse. With a general similarity of the clinical picture. But always deep. About the same as with an increase in temperature. Hyperthermia is a mandatory symptom of a wide range of diseases. From a banal ARVI to a tumor process. Moreover, in terms of its functional significance, fear, like elevated temperature, plays the role of protection. A barrier that separates you from something fatal. Do you feel where I’m going with this, no? If a symptom is a good thing, then does it make sense to fight it so desperately and decisively until the victorious finale? Especially with all these non-analytical methods from the category of behavioral psychotherapy. What I tried to do with myself on the colonnade of St. Isaac's Cathedral. This is when the unfortunate person is forced to experience the horror of his own phobias over and over again, hoping for gradual desensitization. Or, simply, addiction. Tough, cruel, but not always effective. But it is risky for the therapist. They can easily beat you. No laughter. And it is fraught with an exacerbation of the client’s neurotic symptoms. Any phobias in any person can either become actualized or pass into an almost imperceptible state. The more tension you have built up inside, the more likely it is thatand fears will intensify. Even if before this they were not there in principle! The point, I repeat, is not the very presence of fear in general. And in its intensity, persistence, provoking factors, the degree of disruption of habitual behavior and the level of influence of the symptom on a person’s life as a whole. Let's look at my example. Yes, I am susceptible to acrophobia. But only when the height under my feet exceeds three meters and the floor surface is not solid. I move quite calmly on a well-fenced balcony with an opaque base. I am absolutely not afraid of flying on airplanes and systematically wash the windows on my eighth floor. I cross bridges with almost no trepidation. I calmly watch films about mountain climbers and reports about downhill skiing. In everyday life, this fear does not interfere with me in any way. I sleep well, I eat well, and I don’t have nightmares at night. My usual activities do not involve heights. It is unlikely that I will ever feel the desire to consult clients in the cabin of a tower crane. If only for very big money. I think they themselves will not agree. When it comes to the treatment of isolated phobias, it is always worth thinking about. Efforts should not exceed the expected result. Accidentally fall while performing high-altitude desensitization! Analytical techniques are slow but sure. Moreover, if you analyze, then should you start with fears? For example, you are a nurse, but you are terrified of the sight of blood. You are struggling. Intense and focused. According to all the rules of behavioral psychotherapy. You fight so hard that you faint a couple of times next to an unsuspecting patient. Imagine a picturesque picture. The sufferer you recently perforated relaxed after the injection. Just like he was, with his pants down and cotton wool in his hand. Well, the job is done, the dose has been received! And then you suddenly fell to the floor. From the type of blood on the syringe. But the man is at a loss. What's happened? Is it legal to assist an immobilized procedural nurse? It's her in a robe! And if possible, then with what? The patient, presumably, has no medical education. Perhaps you will flatter the men, but what to do with the ladies? Perhaps you will force your charges to begin to fear lifeless nurses. Or, more likely, cause body dysmorphic disorder. Like, I’m so fat that even the nurse fainted from the sight of my butt. Malicious iatrogeny is evident! Then you will be tortured to treat anorexia nervosa. In any case, it is naive to expect that patients will become involved in your struggle at their expense. So it would be more logical not to suffer and immediately choose to be busy without the risk of seeing bleeding. And the state of horror in front of scarlet spots can be analyzed peacefully and quietly in a specialist’s office. Without shocking strangers. Perhaps your fear has intensified as a result of general dissatisfaction with working conditions and occupation? I'm quite serious. Fear is our friend. Although we do not always understand and love him. But he is so selfless that he ignores our curses. You should think twice before getting rid of it. In any case, quickly and thoughtlessly. Demolishing a fence is not difficult, but are you ready to see what you yourself hid there many, many years ago? Even more. Not only to see, but also to accept yourself as such. With peculiarities. By the way, about the fear of heights. After the inglorious stupor on the colonnade of Isaac, I swore off climbing peaks. Do whatever you want, tease him anyway. I will listen to any mockery without blinking an eye. I'm not your crash test car. Assault yourself. Which once, during an excursion to Krasnaya Polyana, greatly surprised the guide. Like, why did you go at all if you don’t want to ride the cable car? Everyone is afraid, and then they rejoice and thank them for forcing them. They pushed, pushed, egged me on. But I still stuck on the ground. They looked at me askance and spat on me. Tea is not a princess, although with quirks. I had a great time. Believe me, the only things better than the mountains are the foothills and the local population. I took a leisurely walk around the surrounding area, sunbathed on a hillock, tasted local wild blackberries, met lizards, had lunch at.