If you are short, how can you become taller? By wearing heels or other high-soled shoes. But a person with low self-esteem does differently. He puts others down so that he can appear superior to them. And he uses resentment as a tool for this. That is, instead of “growing” himself, a person “belittles” others in order to feel higher. This is the main reason for resentment - low self-esteem. By means of resentment, we seem to be talking : “you are the bad one,” and if the opponent is the “bad” one, then we automatically become “good.” And if a person does not improve his self-esteem, then he cannot feel valuable and important, first of all for himself. Then he begins to use resentment as a means to achieve this goal. This line of behavior turns into a habit, which is very difficult to get rid of. After all, being offended is the easy way. Another thing is to work on yourself day after day... to climb up, overcoming resistance, to wade through thorns. Well, really, who wants to? It’s easy to be offended. That’s why there are so many offended and touchy people around, and few people want to work with it. After all, this work reveals weaknesses and sheds light on what has long been mired in darkness. This is not an easy job. But, I will say from my own experience, liberation from grievances is like a stone removed from the soul. Fantastic lightness appears, and the long-awaited resource arrives. WHY DO YOU NEED AN RESULT? Any offense has a benefit. That is, why is it needed. How?? You ask, it cannot be that I need this destructive, negative feeling that pulls me down and ruins my life. But the fact remains a fact. If I carry a lighter in my purse, then I use it... Otherwise, why would I carry an unnecessary item with me every day, I’ll take it out.... when I don’t need it. So, we figured it out. Stay with this feeling... You need resentment. She is good for manipulation, and for justifying her inaction, and much more. Everyone has their own benefit... and most often we do not realize it. How we are not aware of most of our destructive habits. It's convenient for us. I don’t realize it, that means I don’t see it, that means it’s as if it doesn’t exist. A comfortable position, isn’t it? Only, apparently, not so comfortable, since you are reading this post. Any transformation begins with recognizing the problem. I often meet people who say that they are not offended. Are they really not offended? Or are they pretending? Therefore, the first step towards working with grievances is to admit that they exist. And their identification. And then... this is a lot of work, your job of solemnly saying goodbye to grievances, restructuring consciousness so as not to accumulate them anymore. Neurography works great with grievances, rebuilding neural connections and helping us develop new habits and ways of responding.