Many codependent women come to me for therapy, they say that in a relationship, love for a partner is breathtaking, but most of the time they are overwhelmed by negative emotions. As a rule, the emotions are very strong : first love, then disappointment, again elation, euphoria, then anger at the partner, then he does everything to make amends, such an alternation of delight, joy, with anxiety, anger, frustration, then love again, then apathy, depression. In codependents relationships are not swinging like a child, just like on a swing! In connection with this, I came up with a fairy tale, which I want to share with you. The fairy tale “Two on a swing” Two people met: He was so gallant, cheerful, interesting, oh, what compliments he paid!/ True, he was addicted to alcohol and work, but who would look at this at the initial stage of the relationship/She is so beautiful, gentle, subtle, ringing. /with a super-strong need to care, protect and patronize/Oh, how they were drawn to each other, it took their breath away from love, what passion, this is chemistry, just crazy! This couple in love sat down on a swing and they began to swing. At first it was exciting and fun, but the more they swung, the more their internal discontent grew. They experienced a range of strong emotions, from love to anger, from joy to disappointment. Because over time, the swing became cramped and uncomfortable, but no one wanted to voice their true desires stop them. Although the couple was already sick of the swing and of each other. Even an old nail that stuck into the butt and wanted to encourage the woman to leave the discomfort zone did not help. The woman just sighed quietly. The swing was swinging, but no one was going to jump off the swing. They believed that the partner should take the first step and change. Scandals began, but the scandals did not help, internal tension grew even more, it began to spread to the body. The woman the swing began to get sick and turn into an old woman. And over the years, the man had a bottle of whiskey in his jacket pocket, it became dearer to his woman, she could be trusted with his secrets, relieve stress. But one day, the ropes holding the swing became thinner and the couple fell into the water and drowned. The end! More precisely, no... Let's rewind the events 1 minute ago. What if a kind person passed nearby, who extended a helping hand to the woman and helped her get out of the pond? Options for the development of events could be as follows: A woman goes to therapy if she is not ready yet break off this relationship, I allow her to be in this, we work to correct codependent patterns of behavior, perhaps the decision will be made a little later. The woman goes to therapy, we work to correct codependent patterns of behavior, she makes a decision and breaks up with her partner. The woman goes to therapy, At the same time, the man goes to psychotherapy + in-person rehabilitation at a clinic for alcoholism, they stay together. The woman goes to therapy, at the same time the man goes to psychotherapy + in-person rehabilitation at a clinic for alcoholism, both go to family therapy - the ideal option, they stay together. There is always a choice: continue to rock, suffer, get sick, or go to therapy with a psychologist, the author of this article. My clients come to consultations exhausted, under the weight of problems in a subdepressive state, and after only 3 consultations their face changes, their eyes begin to shine, and faith in the solution to their problem appears! Most importantly, they get rid of destructive codependent patterns of behavior, begin to shift focus and rely on themselves, which leads to a happy, independent life! Have you been swinging on an emotional swing? Did you jump or stay? Thank you, repost the article, subscribe to its author, it’s mutual! If you have a similar problem, we invite you to Family Therapy for Couples on a special offer!