The Internet and glossy publications are full of headlines “how to make a man fall in love with you”, “find out how to become the best for him”, “7 ways to attract a man to you”, “3 qualities that men like”, etc. d. One gets the feeling that a man is some kind of game that women hunt. And, of course, there are whole squads of “specialists” who are happy to help them with this. Various kinds of great gurus, coaches for the development of femininity, goddesses for uterine breathing - they all know exactly what a woman should be like in order to attract and keep a man. And Here, from all the cracks, double messages are rushing: - become feminine, ask for help from men, trust your man in everything, but don’t even think about being weak and dependent; - master the secrets of manipulation, but be sincere with your man; - master the deep throat technique , but be modest enough so that a man is not afraid of comparisons; - be inaccessible, but take the initiative; - love cleaning and cooking with your own hands, but do not turn into a boring housewife; - be natural and natural, and do not even try to grow old; - be always fashionable and well-groomed to the tips of the nails, but don’t spend a lot of time and money on it; - earn, but not more than a man, so as not to injure his ego; - be independent, have your own business, (work hard, compete), but let the man feel the main thing... ....The list is endless...Women, deafened by these contradictory messages, rush between articles, teachers, trainings, in a frantic attempt to finally find the right proportion, to disguise themselves as some kind of “ideal” woman for men. They evaluate all their actions from the point of view - do men like it? Now imagine that every woman is a flower. Beautiful, unique, inimitable. Someone is Lily of the Valley, someone is Cornflower, someone is Lily. And then the guru comes to them and says - I know what flowers bees like! Chamomile petals are not big enough - bees like larger ones, like those of a rose. And Rose’s thorns need to be cut off, they will scare away the bees. Sounds ridiculous, right? After all, every flower is a masterpiece of the Creator, exactly the way He created it. They bloom and smell because it is their nature, and not to please the bees. For some reason, all these gurus completely “forget” that all men, like women, are very different, and each has their own taste. And love and healthy relationships are generally about when they meet “their” person, with whom the puzzles coincide - values, tastes, worldview. Petya loves the airy, fragile, graceful Masha, who wears dresses, heels, lives a bohemian life, writes pictures and has no idea how to cook borscht. And Petya doesn’t need her to pump up the “business shark” in herself, the housewife, wash the floors and stand at the stove - he fell in love with her just like that, light and airy. And Ivan adores the nimble, stocky, punchy Dusya in sneakers, who herself and pies she will cook, and hammer a nail, and head the company, and stop a galloping horse. And Dusya doesn’t need to reveal the “goddess” in herself, breathe the uterus and wear heels with sexy lingerie, he gets high from her borscht, activity and assertiveness. And it would be this funny if it weren't so sad. It’s sad that behind all this polyphony of “specialists in hunting men”, it is increasingly difficult for a woman to hear the quiet voice of her soul - what is she really like? What kind of flower is she? What does it smell like? What does she want in life for herself personally, if the imposed hunt for men is removed from it? I think that for every flower there are bees - it’s not for nothing that God created us all very different. And the only thing that is important for a woman to do is to smell her scent - to grow, bloom and enjoy. Do not try to be like someone, squeezing yourself into the template of “femininity”, do not try to please someone, but learn and reveal your true nature and uniqueness. Only then will there be a great chance to live not an ideal, but a happy life. And as for hunting men... Happiness is an incredibly attractive smell, and there is a high probability that exactly “their” person will fly to it.❤Psychologist Veligurskaya Inna#psychologist