From the author: Example from consultation Self-care works wonders When we don’t understand why, men (women) leave me... - because I try so hard for her (him) - why they don’t value you that way (as a brother, a colleague, etc...) - why....why....why....After all, I’m trying so hard!!!!!!The answer is obvious - that’s why they leave because you’re trying, because too much. Again, outside the norm. Have you tried (those from whom they leave and demand and whom everyone who is not too lazy rides?) - have you tried trying less or instead of trying (straining) - doing everything with pleasure? The easiest way to change the situation of your use and then being sent to the trash bin due to unsuitability or obsolete interest in you - this is a way to redirect your efforts to your loved one! This is where His Majesty Pleasure comes in handy! 2 in 1 (two in one) - both pleasure and self-care. By trying too hard for others, we often lose ourselves. Example from a consultation: A client came with a request: I want to find a worthy man. His dignity, according to her, should lie in taking care of her and her daughter. Instead of coming for the night (get your pleasure) and use it. Because he didn't bring anything with him. She fed him in the evening and in the morning, in the morning and in the evening. And she has a daughter, and she lives in a foreign country, and in general she wants love and a good father for her daughter. As a result of researching the problem, the request has changed - I want to raise my self-esteem. This is quite easy to do when a person has a stable motivation for this work (implementation desires) and previous experience (self-esteem was once normal) - there is such experience. And then we turn to her previous experience, restore the feelings and sensations that were already familiar to her, and also build a connection between positive feelings and positive thinking - we give faith in herself. More precisely, she gives herself the right through her faith to use a special RPT technique (or another mechanism, another technique is used). If the client cannot remember when he was confident and satisfied with himself, then we ask you to remember those people who gave him -we have ever been praised - from the smallest things.... And we also reinforce positive feelings, sensations and thoughts about ourselves as a confident Person. Here it is - the experience of being confident - already here. He is with the client, and even settled in his body and mental activity. Now let's consolidate these memories. How? as always with actions. After all, you cannot claim that you know (can do) this until you have done it, at least once. And it's easy to forget once. Therefore, you will have to repeat 3-9 times. Preferably 21 days daily or every other day. Using our example, I asked the client what she wanted to change in her relationship with this man? - Do you think he will change? Let's try? - how can you change your behavior? - your desires are easy to understand when you ask yourself “what do I want.... from him.... for myself? She wanted him to bring food for her and her daughter. She She told him about this. He began to bring food and even toys. Then she said that she was not happy with dad coming and put the question bluntly, “either with us, or goodbye.” He left, continuing to call every day and ask about his daughter, or. to offer her help. The woman was confused....to return, or to break up with him...” Soon she found out that he had another woman at the same time. And then she completely stopped communicating with him. Having made a choice, we began. for another difficult task - to find a Friend. I asked the client how she sees their future relationship in a new way. She answered that she wants to be needed by him. Again!? You have already been needed so many times for anyone but yourself. What is important to change now. ?She thought and said that now she wants Him to be necessary for her, and therefore fulfilled her requests to take care of her and her daughter. And she will also immediately ask him to be only with them (no other women). Now that she has changed the way she interacts with men, her description of the prince she needs is also.