Origin of addiction. Dependence appears - more precisely, the term superdependence should be used here, which can later take the form of dependence on psychoactive substances (psychically active substances - alcohol, drugs, tobacco, etc.) or codependence on another person in the first year and a half of one’s life. After all, immediately after birth, he is so helpless that the mother only needs to fail to feed him several times or not maintain the temperature regime - and the child will die, even if the mother does not change the diapers - the child may die! Thus, the child finds himself in her complete power, and uncontrolled power, right up to the end of life - at her will. And this continues for the first year and a half - until the child learns to walk with his own legs and talk - to communicate his needs to other people. During the experience of this over-dependence on the mother in the first year and a half, it is as if the refill of a ballpoint pen is filled with ink (the property of this ink is that it cannot pour out of the refill at once, they can only be written over, i.e., it takes a long time to remove it, while constantly doing this). Thus, a similar rod appears in the child’s psyche, completely filled with ink. This is his dependence (in this case, to his mother). Getting rid of dependence. Starting from the second stage (separation/individuation according to E. Erikson), the mother must begin to do the exact opposite - rid the child of this ink. This should manifest itself in the fact that she gradually allows him to take on more and more functions of control and care for his body - so that he becomes more and more self-sufficient, independent. And if at each stage of development she transfers to the child the functions corresponding to this stage (more correctly, perform their own functions in relation to the child - at each stage of his development), then by the time the child reaches adulthood, the core of dependence will be completely covered and society will have a completely independent person in this child. The origin of codependency. If the mother does not fulfill her mission of writing down the core, then what remains in it can take the form of codependency in an adult - dependence on another person, on relationships with him. The amount of unwritten will be the amount of codependency. A person grows up, but dependence on the mother does not go away; the person remains dependent on her. Those who manage to separate themselves from their mother geographically and who do not want to admit their dependence to their mother transfer this dependence to other people. First of all, these people are sexual partners, spouses, bosses, other authority figures and their own children. The rod will not necessarily be directed at someone, but as soon as someone suitable turns up, the transfer will occur and the addiction will manifest itself in all its remaining strength. Confirmation of existing codependency is fear - the fear of becoming dependent on a psychologist. Getting rid of codependency. You cannot get rid of codependency on your own. You may not recognize the dependence or even move away from the object of dependence, but the rod will again be directed at someone (if you manage to separate from the “old” object). To get rid of you, you need someone who can become as authoritative as mom was, who can fulfill this role for a long time and most importantly - who knows how to behave in order to fulfill such a mission (dependence on dad is most often based on superdependence, but may have other origins). The theory can only be taught by psychologists or psychotherapists trained in depth psychotherapy (psychodynamic or psychoanalysis). Accordingly, only they will be able to complete this mission. First, this process will require the creation of a transference of the psychologist onto himself, and then, when this happens, the psychologist will help the person remove the transference that has occurred. That. - with each such time a person will gain the experience of understanding (that the transfer has occurred) and the experience of removing?