What is a request? This is your path from point A to point B. Point A is the problem that you want to solve, what causes discomfort, pain, what you want to get rid of or change. I think it’s clear that in your life, and not in another person. Point B is the result that you want to get when the problem disappears. What will happen instead of the problem? But in reality, it is not so easy for everyone to formulate their request. And there are still requests about the state or requests about the result, they are different, sometimes combined. We'll talk about this in other posts. But what is your request now? Write in the comments and I will help you formulate the essence. As practice shows, having acquired a certain amount of knowledge on arrangements, many begin to formulate requests strangely. It’s better to think through logically some moves that will supposedly lead to the desired result. For example, I look like my mom or dad (it’s not that important here), but I don’t want to be like and act the same. I want to get rid of repetition because it bothers me. I want to be harmonious (sometimes I even wonder, how exactly?) To the question, what exactly would a woman want to change? It turns out to improve my relationship with my husband and son. The fact is that everyone in the family behaves distantly with each other, the husband says that he does not feel her support, finds fault, criticizes, and the son worries about the arguments and conflicts of his parents, and is often offended by his father. We formulated the request differently, because this is the issue not at all in the woman’s parents, or in what she repeats. After all, in the end it turned out that there was a great fear inside of losing both my husband and son. It was he who brought her to me for constellation. During the work, we did not go into history, where there was a man or a child who was lost in the family. No, we are talking about a completely different weave. About a woman who died young, drowned, forgotten. The steps here, too, were not those that everyone is accustomed to waiting for, “reconciliation with her fate” and so on. The fear passed, the relationship with her husband changed dramatically almost immediately. And what does resemblance to parents and harmony have to do with it? Don’t look for logical connections, there are none, and this is what helps to find solutions leading to change. Source http://solodovnikova.org/. If you want to learn more about my author’s approach to working with constellations, follow the link to my free course “Secrets of constellations. 5 lessons for beginners” and receive 2 of my books as a gift. See you at my training courses and trainings! Oksana Solodovnikova, psychotherapist, arranger.