Feeling resentment? Do you think that your parents love your brothers and sisters more than you? Resentment towards your mother - did not pay attention, criticized, was strict towards you? Did your father not protect you, devalued you, or even ridiculed you? Perhaps you were harmed as a child psychological and physical pain. It’s offensive and very annoying, do you have a feeling of anger and anger? Is it difficult for you to forgive, is resentment choking your throat? Let’s figure out what resentment is and how childhood grievances affect adult life. Resentment is a feeling from childhood that arises when dissatisfied desires caused by a reaction to unfair treatment. The obstacle to satisfaction is the person to whom the resentment is directed. If the obstacle is not connected with someone's will, then a feeling of annoyance arises. A person’s words can greatly hurt, cause offense, and it is not always possible to forget the offense. Resentment can turn into anger, indignation and sadness. Resentment consists of anger and self-pity. Anger arises when we feel that we were treated unfairly, perhaps we were promised and did not fulfill the promise, or were deprived of something. Sadness comes then, when we realize the loss of something significant for us, both energy and time or relationships, trust, social status, and maybe even property. We also get offended when our expectations are not met by someone or something. How dangerous is offense? Resentment strangles, torments the soul, forces you to live without love, as it is blocked and destroys relationships, both with yourself and with others, as if corroding from the inside. In such cases they say: No peace, no joy. Keeping anger inside is able resentment, makes the whole body suffer. Is there a secondary benefit to being offended? If resentment as a way of reacting remains from childhood, then this is a distorted way to justify oneself in order to do nothing, such a way to protect one’s boundaries is a secondary benefit. Resentment is a way to throw out aggression, to protect one’s boundaries, as a reason to break down in a situation when a person has a heavy load and cannot cope with it and does not know how to correctly express his feelings. Or when there is a ban on the expression of such charged feelings. Then holding onto a grudge is a way to quarrel in order to relax. Through resentment, give yourself permission to rest. Why is it beneficial for some to “accumulate” resentment? Of course, in order to get something meaningful. Resentment is a way of manipulation even when a person becomes an adult. A person continues to react in this way when everything did not happen as desired. If the offense is demonstrative, dramatic, then it is manipulation, a reaction to what is happening and as a way to achieve something, expecting it from others. If you don’t expect anything in return, then the offense only shows us what we didn’t like. This way of behavior in a child from childhood is carried over into adulthood and then it is an obstacle to harmonious relationships with a partner. Working through your childhood grievances and traumas with a specialist means giving yourself the opportunity to create; a healthy inner child allows us to be spontaneous and joyful, to be in a creative flow. Resentment and justice. If you feel resentment for an insult or disrespectful attitude towards yourself, then this is emotional the colored feeling can turn into a feeling of anger at the one who offended you and a feeling of self-pity. If we stay in this feeling for a long time, we deprive ourselves of joy and freedom, poisoning life by plunging a feeling of helplessness into a depressed state. Thus, we deprive ourselves of our own strength, plunging ourselves into loneliness and suffering. What to do if an offense “gnaws”? Life without offense: Write out all your grievances, discontent - speak out in this way through the body. Say the offense out loud, this will reduce the emotional charge. Try to forgive, let go - realize what the offense is about, it can be your growth area .Work through childhood situations where you were criticized, deprived of attention and support. Sometimes time heals grievances, a person “thaws out”, time teaches you to forgive. Careful techniques.