Computer addiction. This is probably one of the most pressing problems that have arisen in recent years. Sleepless nights spent playing games and on social networks, an obsessive desire to check email or view the news again and again... We cannot cancel the computer once and for all (as those who have made a serious decision to change their lives refuse drugs), because at least it , is necessary at work - and in your non-work life, to be honest, too. But we also don’t always succeed in maintaining control and autonomy. Children and teenagers are especially vulnerable to computer addiction... I listened to a webinar by psychologist Peter Dmitrievsky on this topic, and decided to write down some of the thoughts and ideas he expressed. I hope you find them useful. Computer Dependency: Changes That Have Already Happened We cannot become completely computer independent, that is out of the question. Life has changed. Today's students are now finding online what previous generations found outside their classrooms. They make friends there, fall in love and break up, share experiences, compete, compose music and make videos, look for important information, read, in the end. So the computer is not only stupid shooting games, and in order to better understand what is happening to a teenager, whether he has an addiction or not, parents themselves should have a good understanding of the opportunities that the computer and the Internet provide. Otherwise, dialogue will not work. Children who live near the screen are already different in a number of ways. They are able to perform several tasks at the same time; They have a reduced tolerance for conflict situations in real life, since there it is impossible to “unfriend” and “ban”. That is, the methods of exiting a difficult or offensive dialogue used in the virtual space are not suitable here, and there is little suitable experience; They are worse than “non-computer” children in recognizing non-verbal language and the emotions of other people; They understand better than “non-computer” children the printed word, direct and hidden meanings of the text. Computer addiction: symptoms Impoverishment of life and personality. Deterioration in school performance, refusal to communicate or spend free time “in real life”, loss of interest in any other activities. Persistent denial of the problem. Severe withdrawal syndrome when trying to reduce time spent on the computer: depression, anxiety, outbursts of rage directed at restrictive adults , threats and manipulation. The emergence of an internal dialogue - one part admits that it should be stopped for a while, and the second part sabotages these decisions. Hence the unsuccessful attempts at self-restraint and self-control. The structure of dependence is similar to the polar experiences of an infant. On the one hand, there is the horror of separation from the mother, the fear of being abandoned, and there is complete bliss at the mother’s breast. When addiction becomes very strong, all that remains are these black and white polar experiences - the horror of separation and the bliss of reunion. Computer addiction: what parents should do Do not sound the alarm ahead of time, since inappropriate and excessive parental anxiety causes a teenager to want to withdraw into himself, withdraw and avoid contact. A child may indeed spend a lot of time on the computer, but if he has no signs of addiction and has healthy eyes, there is no need to panic; If there is a problem, parents should objectively and persistently reflect reality. Don’t threaten, don’t make trouble, but explain cause-and-effect relationships. “Last quarter you had one triple, this quarter you had three. This is a fact, it exists whether you like it or not. If you continue in the same spirit, you will encounter such and such problems.” Introduce a clear and transparent system of rules and sanctions. Discuss with your child and determine the amount of time on the computer per day, as well as the possible reasons why he will be deprived of this. For example, for a deuce, the computer is canceled for a week. The most important thing is that this system must work, no matter what. No exceptions and.©