Envy Probably every person has experienced this gray feeling in their life. Everyone knows it. Envy, in fact, is a signal, an indicator of a certain disadvantage in a person’s life. Envy is considered one of the seven deadly sins and the most hidden feeling in people’s souls. Unlike other sins, for which a rational justification can be found, envy has always been considered shameful in all its manifestations, even its shades. It can be not only “black”, giving rise to dull anger, but also “white” - that is, with a predominance of joy for another person. The Latin word for envy is livor, which means blue. The ancient Romans said “turned blue” with envy, while the Russians said “turned green.” And in China, envy is red because it is called “red eye disease.” Perhaps it is the fear of a feeling that everyone has to one degree or another, but is rejected by everyone, that is the reason for such a rare mention of it even in psychological research. Envy, as a rule, is not included in the explanation of the motives of one’s own behavior, even if it is the only motive. What is envy, how did it appear and is it possible to fight it? Practicing psychologist Anatoly Malish answers the editorial questions. Envy is an acute feeling of one's imperfection. Therefore, envy always appears on the basis of internal complexes: fears, uncertainty, doubts. Envy is self-resentment. Don't be surprised, this is exactly the case. Envy is not related to the fact that the other person is somehow better than you. It’s just that when you see his successes, you feel unsuccessful, insignificant, ugly, in general, not ideal. The way you don’t love yourself. Envy is competition. Envy always exists where you compete for something with other people. For example, for the right to consider yourself the most successful, beautiful, smart, professional, and in demand. we compete and compete in all areas of life. They say that there are two types of envy - white and black. This is not true. What is called white envy is not envy at all. This is admiration. You look at a person and exclaim: “It gives!” And this brings joy and pleasure. You can compliment such a person from the bottom of your heart. For example, your friend has long wanted to lose weight, and now you see her, who has become one and a half times smaller. And you will be sincerely happy for her and tell everyone how wonderfully she lost weight. But you will sincerely admire it only if you are satisfied with yourself and your figure. Envy in its pure form is always black. Suppose you and the same friend decide to lose weight. And she did it, and you remained in the “heavy weight”. Here it is already very doubtful that your joy will be as serene. - Why did humanity have envy in the first place? Is this an innate or acquired quality? Currently, both theories of the origin of envy have their supporters. Some believe that envy is a kind of genetic program that has evolved along with humanity. Others, and the majority of them, argue that this is a product of the social upbringing of children. The first believe that those ancient people who were jealous of their fellow tribesmen had more incentives for self-improvement. They sought to improve their manifestations and achievements, and accordingly they had a greater chance of survival. The woman was jealous of her rival’s beauty and tried to surpass her. She decorated herself, tried to cook more delicious food, or was more affectionate with a man, and therefore was more desirable and in demand. The latter argue that parents, for educational purposes, starting to loudly compare their child with other children - from their point of view more successful, unwittingly sow the child’s pure soul with the seeds of the sin of envy. As a result, the child begins to constantly compare himself with other children, and the comparison is not always in his favor. There is dissatisfaction with oneself and, as a result, Envy and a negative attitude towards the one who was takenexample.- Why is envy included in the list of mortal sins? In most human activities, envy has always been a stimulus for improvement. Many thinkers considered the concepts of envy and progress inseparable. Envy, indeed, partly moves the world. Everything has a downside. And so does envy. Envy is always associated with our unfulfilled goals and desires. It not only carries a brightly negative connotation, it can also become a beneficial impulse. If there were no envy, people would not strive for superiority and would not make discoveries. The phrase or thought that you need to do something so well “that everyone will be jealous,” although it looks funny, often brings good results. Envy is competition, only hidden: a person wants to win, but it is as if he competes within himself. With individuals, society, nature. It became one of the mortal sins for the same reason - the desire to endow a person with something more than allotted by the Creator. And His ways are inscrutable, and only He can know to whom and what is measured out and for what he was born. Accordingly, any thought about competition with God is sacrilege and sin. - They say that envious people secrete “psychic poison”, which is poured out mentally on the object of their hostility. Who suffers more from this - the object of envy or the envious person? Envy itself is a very unpleasant emotion. It is as if something of yours that should rightfully belong to you has been taken from you and given to someone else. At its extreme, it feels like a poisonous bite. It’s not for nothing that there is an expression: poisoned by envy. Such a “poisoned” person experiences quite physiological symptoms: he/she turns pale with envy, as the blood vessels contract and blood pressure rises, or turns yellow with envy, as the blood is saturated with bile, and the normal functioning of the digestive system is disrupted. In addition, such people are suspicious and live in constant anticipation of someone else's failure, instead of creating their own success. But the object of envy remains untouched; physiological suffering cannot be transmitted to it. Only the actions of the envious person cause harm: slander, violence, theft, etc., but all this is criminally punishable and therefore does not often have an impact. - Does envy weaken with age? Gaining life experience and accumulating wisdom, a person begins to appreciate and remember more precisely his achievements, successes and merits. The elderly are finally beginning to love life for its simple joys. Worries about missed opportunities or experienced injustices are replaced by thoughts about peace of mind and comfort, and these are purely personal feelings, and it is pointless to compare them. Hence the weakening of envy. - What do women and men envy most? Women's envy is a feeling of nuclear proportions, and almost everyone in this life has encountered it. The envy of a girth spoils human relationships, the envy of a colleague disrupts the normal working rhythm. A woman may envy another woman because it seems to her that her rival dresses better, wears makeup better than her, men pay attention to her more often, she has more social benefits (a house, an expensive car, exciting trips). Usually this is not generated by facts, but by wounded pride, feelings of inferiority, internal complexes from which this woman suffers, and not at all by real reasons. Only an insecure, self-conscious woman can hiss over her friend’s shoulder about how disgusting her new lipstick is. For men, things are usually a little simpler. They are measured by strength and status. Even the attention of the fair sex, according to envious men, is determined precisely by these indicators. - How to recover from this vice? Getting rid of envy can be divided into two ways: active, such as self-improvement, searching for new, personal goals and opportunities for their implementation. And passive - for people who lack the strength to cope with competition. They become depressed and apathetic. Productive, albeit passive.