Very often, clients who come to us about loneliness and sadness do not want to change anything. Their request about the inability to build relationships, find friends and improve the quality of their life rests on their unwillingness to put new knowledge into practice. We have to pay a lot of attention to this part of therapy, to return with them to understanding why exactly this is so, what distortions in thinking prevent this from happening. These attitudes, and in essence our thoughts, feelings and emotions that we have absorbed from our environment or drawn incorrect conclusions from the situation , they can greatly limit us and reduce the quality of life. For example, a person believes that loneliness is something bad, shameful or unacceptable. He may feel inadequate or a failure because he doesn't have many friends. This attitude can lead a person to avoid communicating with other people, fearing that his loneliness will become obvious. Or an example from the other side: a person believes that loneliness is something good, useful, or even desirable. He may believe that he doesn't need friends to be happy or that he can get by without interacting with other people. This attitude can lead to the fact that a person will not look for new friends because he does not see the need for it or does not consider it important. Over the years, I have accumulated a whole list of excuses that people tell just to avoid looking for new relationships or acquaintance. 8 reasons why you are better off living alone: ​​you absolutely do not need to take into account the wishes of anyone, since you live alone; no one can tell you what to do - what I want, I do: I want - I will howl at the moon with sadness, I want - I’ll get drunk in one person, I want - I’ll sleep in the middle of the bed... by myself! You can always say to yourself: “Mom didn’t grow a rose for you” and become an inaccessible queen, straighten your halo and dust off your notebook, make sure once again that everyone is looking at you don’t give a damn from a high bell tower, what could be cooler than sweeping the remnants of self-esteem from under the sofa; being always in the center of attention, since others think that you still have some potential, but in fact you are no longer looking for anyone; reply mysteriously to your acquaintances “I’m looking,” and they nod sympathetically and think that you have everything ahead of you, don’t spend money that you already don’t have enough on dates, trips, a wedding, a mortgage, a child... and then a heart attack for yourself and didn’t live in the end, people sometimes disagree with your opinion, and in fact there are only two of them: yours and the wrong one. As you can understand from the points above, with such beliefs it is not enough just to get out of the vicious circle of loneliness. Therefore, if you recognize yourself at these points, contact me, we will find with you how to get out of this state. Do you know the feeling of loneliness? Sign up for a consultation using the link.